Stuttgart, noch einmal!

So yep, I went to Stuttgart again last weekend and I have to say...

I HAD A BLAST!!!!!


It was very well worth the money spent, even though I have to REALLY be careful with money now. Haha!

So here's my story of Stuttgart: Zweiten Mal

First off, my friend Cari from back home was here in Stras with some of her friends she met in Aix. I showed them around Thursday, and we had decided Saturday we wanted to do a day trip in Kehl. Great, because I didn't leave for Stuttgart til about 3 in the afternoon, and I left from the Kehl train station (because SNCF charged 30 euros more to leave from Stras. LAME!). It was a BEAUTIFUL morning outside, and we got to Kehl a little before noon, so we got lunch at a little burger joint there, then started poking around the town.

There's a huge tower at the park on the Rhine (I don't remember the German name, but in French it's 'Le Jardin des Deux Rives"), and we decided to climb it and the view from there is MAGNIFICENT! The way we were facing if you looked to the left, there was Stras, and the Cathedral on the Horizon, and then to the right was Kehl, and the Black Forest on the horizon that way. It was truly fascinating!

We went to some of the churches there too. I'd never been in them, but with Friedekirche right on the town square, I see it often, and then I've hung out in the garden at St. Nepomuk's a few times. But going in was cool. Friedekirche wasn't anything unusual...cute. quaint, and very peaceful. St. Nepomuk's was SO beautiful though! It had a kind of beauty I don't know if I can describe it. It was cute and pretty, like a talented grade school artist's work, but it was also much deeper than that. It also had scenes of the Crucifixion all around the sanctuary, which reminded me of the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception back in Fort Wayne.

We just kind of poked around town after that, and finally headed back to the train station. I didn't leave Kehl til a little after 3, so I just hung out at my platform, reading The Vampire Lestat that my friend Sibylle lent me (as much as I love reading, I swear it's hard to have the time to actually DO it. I've had this book for AGES).

Train ride there was painless, thankfully. Same route as before. Get to Stuttgart, get on the UBahn, get to the hostel. Same place I stayed at before, so it wasn't like before where I was running around wondering what the hell. Haha, well I KIND of did, but I'm pretty good at remembering surroundings, so I found my way easily enough.

I basically had to book it to the show right after I got my stuff put away. My hostel was in the center of town, the show was on the east side of Stuttgart, and from the looks of the map at the Ubahn stations, almost in the suburbs. Not that it was off putting or anything, but it was a way away.

I had a little mishap trying to get in. I printed the wrong thing off for my ticket, but what I printed off proved I DID pay for one, so they let me in anyway. Scared the hell out of me for about a minute. But I got in, and got a spot. I had a shit spot, compared to where I was the first time I saw them, but I could deal with it. They only did about 5 songs, as they were the openers, but oh my god they fucking ROCKED! I've seen very few performers who throw themselves into their music like that. Not saying not many do, but not many that I've seen had.

The Back says "Stell Dir Vor"

So after them it was the Alex Mack Band (aka former singer of The Calling). and since I wasn't really there to see them, I made my way to the back of the venue (which was WAY WAY WAY bigger than where I saw Acht the first time), and found the merch boothes. Bought myself a T-shirt, and wanted to buy a bit more in the way of "fun" things but decided otherwise.

I just hung out and kind of listened at that point. AMB was pretty good, but like I said, I wasn't there for them, so I didn't pay that much attention. I was waiting around to meet Acht at that point. Haha! And I did.

Now, if you know me, you know this is where the dramatic build up starts in my storytelling. If you didn't know that, well you're about to find out.

At this point, I was getting a bit overheated, and needed some air. It got cloudy and rained during the day, so it had cooled off considerably outside. So I waited, got some air, cooled off, felt better, went back in.

As soon as I walked back in you can take a wild guess just who I happened to lay eyes on. Yep, Gil Ofarim was over by the merch booths, talking and just hanging out.

Think back to 7th grade, and it's the last dance of the year, and you're finally going to ask the object of your affections to said dance. As soon as you lay eyes on them, long before they look at you, or even notice you're there, your heart starts racing, knees start shaking, and you can already feel that you're going to be falling and stumbling over your words BIG TIME (now through in being in a country where you speak the language, but only so well). That's exactly how I felt, and I had to get the guts to forget a possible language barrier, forget my nerves, forget all the stupid negatives, and do this. I waited on this for years and years, and never honestly thought I'd have the chance to see him perform, nevertheless be able to meet him. I could barely contain my excitement.

So I end up going over to him, hand him my CD, very NERVOUSLY in very SHAKY German ask if we can speak in English (haha fail) and he was totally cool and did (and I was actually impressed. I figured he spoke well anyway, but other than singing I'd only ever heard him use German). He remembered the letter I wrote him back in October about the first concert in Stuttgart, which I was completely flattered that he remembered who I was, and as soon as I said "Yeah that was me," He reached out and gave me a hug. AWWWW! (#1 haha!) We talked for a few minutes, he asked if I understood what was being said in the songs and all, and I said I did, and we talked and he signed my CD, and gave me another hug (#2). I went to get a picture with him too, using my phone as my regular camera died (it was old anyway lol), and I got one, but it wasn't that good, so he's talking to the girl who worked with them, and had her get another picture for me on her camera, which I'm waiting on that one to be sent to me. He kept his arm around me too while asking, which definitely made me smile even more. Hahaha! I'm such a fangirl. Anyway, after that, he gave me another hug (#3), and I probably thanked him a million times over and he of course does the "No, thank you," and that hug ended up being pretty awesome too. :D Like I said: fangirl! Hahahaha! But, I at least recognize that fact about myself.

He was seriously super nice though. I was honestly impressed, and it really just...made everything. You know how sometimes you have these ideals of meeting someone, and you do and it's just...not what you expected? Maybe they were dicks? Or whatever. No, that totally didn't happen. He was just so cool and so lovely and...ok honestly it had me wondering why the HELL he doesn't have a girlfriend (come on...when a guy answers a question about having a significant other, famous or not, with "Well, I have my dog" they're not dating anyone. See the above video. Even if you don't know German, you'll know the part I mean when you see it). It was so awesome FINALLY meeting him though, and it really being everything I had ever hoped.

Oh Melinda, if you read this, Brain Sex is safe and sound in my goofy little memory. You lucked out. Nerves worked in your favor. ;)

Meeting the band overall was really cool. Andy, their drummer, was just hanging out after I talked to Gil, so I got his autograph, and he just had that whole cool drummer vibe going. I even noticed it in videos and whatever, and it reminds me so much of some of the guys I used to play with. I saw Oswin (lead guitar) and Konti (bass) out there too but they were talking to people, and come on, I'm not THAT rude...geesh. ;) But after a while I managed to get Oswin's autograph too, and then Konti's...which that ended up being another cute little story. ;)

After Konti signed it, Oswin went to grab my CD, one of those out of habit actions. No big deal. I didn't say anything, I guess because I didn't want to come off as a snob or something, so Oswin looked at it for a second, realized he signed it, looked at me, looked at the CD, looked at me, and then as follows:

Him: Wer hat dass gemacht? (Who did that?)
Me: Uhhhh...ich weiss nicht? *laugh* (I don't know)

He smiled and laughed, and handed me my CD back. I thanked them all profusely, and then headed out to get back to my hostel (which was quite the ordeal in and of itself. SSB, the Stuttgart transport system actually checks if you have a ticket, where as here in Stras I think I've seen the controllers once or maybe twice).

Oh and here begins the next bit of drama.

So it switched to Daylight Savings on Sunday. Whatever. I figured my phone would reset automatically. The phones I've had in the US did, so whatever.

hahahahahaha!

I had to set it to change, and didn't know that. So um, I THINK i'm getting up at 6:30 to catch a train a little after 9. Wanted to have time to get dressed, get there, ya know, BE ON TIME. I mean I was last time, but freaking DB canceled about a million trains last second. So just in case, I went early again.

Well, first, I misread the map at the UBahn (this is before I realize I'm an hour behind mind you). Dammit. I got on the wrong train. Well, I looked at the map, and if i had gone ONE stop further, I could buy another ticket, save 50 cents, and get to the trainstation. I go to execute this plan and...

There are people watching the trains...ON SUNDAY MORNING! WTF!

So I had to buy the ticket there and figure it out.

Oh and it was raining that morning. So here I am at Charlottenplatz (fortunately I wasn't THAT lost. I had been there before the first time I saw Acht), standing there, in the rain, wondering if i can figure out the way to walk to the trainstation, or should I try and catch the UBahn since I DID buy the ticket. I decide on the UBahn, since I'd already spent the money. Thank God as soon as I got back to the station (the station at Charlottenplatz is underground) a train headed to the trainstation was getting ready to leave. So I ran for it, got on, and left.

So I make it to the trainstation...

Get a doughnut and a coffee, look for a place to sit and relax and eat it before going to wait for my train. Well the cafe I chose didn't have seats, so I was like eh it's cold but I'll go wait at my platform.

Well, my train was sitting there, waiting to go. I look at the clocks. 9:05. But my phone said 8:05! Shit....

Well my train didn't leave til 9:18 so I was ok still, just hopped on, found a seat got comfy, ate my food, drank my coffee, wrote in my journal, and started reading again after a while.

Now, my route home was a bit different. No missed trains this time, but instead of Stuttgart-Karlsruhe-Offenburg-Kehl, it was Stuttgart-Freudenstadt-Offenburg-Kehl. Now, I couldn't tell you the first thing about Freudenstadt, BUT the train ride went RIGHT through the Black Forest. And it was still early enough the sun was rising, and shining over the mountains and through the trees, and some points the mountains were misting, and there were old little fortresess and churches on the sides of the hills and...oh...it was just a BEAUTIFUL ride back home. Granted, by the time I got back to Kehl I was ready to get off the train and stretch my legs, but it was still such a pretty ride home.

I was whooped by the time I got back to Stras. I needed sleep...BADLY! haha! But that's ok. I slept plenty on Sunday...the afternoon and that night.

So this week has been coming down off of Cloud 9 and back to reality. *sighs* No fun! hahaha! But the weekend was wonderful. Expensive, but wonderful. ;) Very well worth every penny I spent on it. I got to do something I NEVER thought i'd have the chance to do, and I made some AMAZING memories this weekend.

Anyway, I'd better get going. I need to get to bed here soon.

<3Erika

Scared

So the last few weeks, I've had a lot on my mind, besides the normal worries of school, and trying not to beat myself up for throwing caution to the wind to go to Stuttgart again. Let's face it: I'm damn determined to meet Gil Ofarim, so I'm going to. LOL. I just have to behave myself from here til August (essentially). I've never been a good moneyhandler, so now that I've fallen on my ass once, let's see how I can figure to NOT do that again.

But anyway, that's not my main fear. It's up there, but the fears I'm thinking of are much more conceptual.

I'm scared of going home.

Now, that sounds weird, I know. It feels weird. And it's not this anti-America, boo patriotism thing. It really has little to do with it (there are things politically that frustrate me, for sure, but I don't want to go into that). It's more the ideas affiliated with going back home.

I'm scared of speaking English, and not having to translate almost everything I say/and or flip between languages. I'm scared of familiarity. I'm scared of the problems I have to go back to. I'm scared of not being able to make it at home. I'm scared of readjusting/reverse culture shock. I'm scared of having to deal with the crap I shrugged off 6 months ago, as my plane took off for Detroit.

I'm not just scared, I'm terrified.

I've been in France going on 7 months. A lot of good, and a lot of bad has happened. A lot of shit has happened, mainly being conned/lied to once again. I've screwed up financially/was taken advantage of, and borderlined starved. I've been lonely, angry, and felt abandoned. I've had to adjust to Euros, metric, French, German, and being the stranger.

But, I've met some wonderful friends here, had some inspiring moments, learned about myself as a person, been forced to grow up (finally), had to figure out things, learn things, have come to understand things, about life, history, political theory (I mean it is l'Institut des Etudes Politiques hahaha), culture, and so on. I've seen the good and the bad (or at least confusing) nuances of difference between my and a foreign culture. I've dyed my hair black, lost weight, and still love Disney Princesses. I've filled up my Adventure Book (if you've seen the movie, Up, you know what I mean). I've found out who my friends back home REALLY are, and I've discovered who the lying bitch is.

I never would've done any of this had I not come here.

That's why going home scares me so much. For the first time in my life, I'm alive. I'm real. I'm not just looking wistfully from the outside in, wanting to be a part, I AM what's happening. I am learning, living, seeing, experiencing, feeling, hurting, hoping, worrying, thinking, excited, bewildered, fascinated, bemused...the list of adjectives that I feel on a daily basis is enormous. I don't think I still can entirely understand it all.

This is the first time I've been able to feel this way. It's the first time I've been able to live my life this way, and live for myself, and influence my own destiny, and not have a tyrant or a liar trying to turn my future into what they want out of me, or using me to get what they want. I'm living for ME. And all that it entails.

And that's yet another reason going home scares me. It's going back to where all that bad is. it means facing it all again. Not even just facing it really, as much as, that's where it exists. All the bad--I mean REAL bad, not just bad days and minor frustrations--has happened. Everyone and everything I hate about life, is in Fort Wayne. That's not saying life is all bad, or being pessimistic, like i'm oh-so-very-good at doing, it just means that the bad parts of life are all concentrated in one area for me.

But I've known since I got here I HAVE to go back. I have to finish what I started. I have to see things out to the end. It sucks...it REALLY fucking sucks, but I have to do it. As my "little sister" Kim put it, "you've been on a long vacation, and you have to go back to reality eventually." One of those moments where, no matter how hard I fought...they're right.

Anyway, I need a nap. LOL. 4 and a half hours of sleep last night. I never sleep on Sunday.

Stuttgart...again

So I've been back and forth about seeing Acht again this month. After the money crunch I had last semester, I'm REALLY scared of putting myself in that again. But, I sat down, checked my bank statement, did some math, or about how much I at least planned on spending a month (food, rent, phone bill, going out here and there), the cost of getting to Paris and checking a bag (estimates), and the approximate cost of going to Stuttgart again. Including all that, I'd have a decent chunk of money leftover at the end of June. Not a lot, but considering the conversion, and getting my 240 euro deposit back, it'd be enough to justify the cost of going.

Now, I've tried talking to some friends, getting different perspectives on it, because they know what happened, and they're all pretty level headed about these kinds of things. I trust their judgement for sure, and while they all had very good points, they were all different. Well, doesn't make it easier for me now, does it? XD But I give them all props for being logical and reasonable. Considering I tend NOT to be very reasonable...yeah. I think I'm getting better about it, but I tend to be impulsive, and not think long term. But this time I did, and I figure as long as I'm smart with my money between now and when I start booking everything back home, I SHOULD be ok. Really, I just have to watch how much eating out I do. Simple, eh? At least I HOPE. I get pretty lazy sometimes XD

Anyway, I digress (I'm good at that). After looking at my finances, I decided what the hell, I'm going. I was debating on Zurich, or Vienna, especially as I have a very good friend in Vienna, somehow the Eurolines tickets went from 39 euros to 95 euros. WHAT!? And I know a train ticket would cost even more, and I don't feel like going through customs at an airport, and not to mention it would cost as much as the other 2 alternatives. If I pay that much to go somewhere, I may as well stay there for a few days, ya know? I could justify 95 euros to Vienna, and stay a week with my friend there. But anyway, I digress AGAIN! (Told you I was good). Melinda said Zurich is expensive, in general, so I cut it out, and then the whole deal with getting to Vienna being expensive. So the 2 closest shows then to Stras were Mannheim and Stuttgart.

Now, one of my good friends at home is from Mannheim. He came Stateside when he was young, but his family is still there. So he's told me a bit about the town. And then Stuttgart, I have friends who've studied there, and I've been there, so I know a hostel I like, I know the city well enough I could get where i need to go, and voila. Train tickets were the same prices, concert tickets were the same prices, but I decided Stuttgart again, for the sake of logistics.

Well, I ran to the bank a while ago, wondering why my card was declined on a certain transaction. Lo and behold, I have a 300 euro spending limit, and I just paid my rent that morning. No wonder! haha! So they upped my limit and are sending me a new card. The woman I talked to was EXTREMELY nice, and I had a great convo with her. She'd been to New York, so we talked about that, and honestly it was just a matter of filling out paper work. Whatever. It's France, you have that. But here's the kicker: 2-3 weeks on the new card. Ok fine. She said my card I have now should still work, great, and when I get my new one, that'll be my main card. Cool. So I go to reserve my tickets and guess what...card was declined. Yeah. So now if I do this I'm waiting til last minute. I'm not too worried about the concert selling out, but I am worried about getting a room in the hostel. But I reserved last minute before so (crosses fingers).

Honestly though besides that, not much to report. It's been spring break here, and I just spent it chilling out. I tried to get a jumpstart on a German paper, but that didn't work. I've done some reading on the topic though, which has interested me. It's over the current Chancellor (Kanzler) Angela Merkel. She interests me. I picked the topic, simply because of my feminist streak, but the more I read the more intrigued I am. There are some aspects to how she handles her presidency that I really like. She seems very no nonsense, which is good, and she doesn't toot her horn about being a woman, and East German, she just does her thing and moves on. I definitely like that about her. I don't know enough about her to have an opinion on her as a politician (though I should...having taking contemporary German culture last year), but I do like her attitude about things. Oh and the woman HAS to be damn smart. She was a physicist before she was a politician. That much, I definitely respect about her!

Other than that, nothing else to report. It's been nice being able to just sleep and chill and relax this week. I think that's why i didn't do the jumpstart on the paper. As good as it is to be efficient, you need a break too. And I'm using my break to chill. Monday though, I better be back on all that...I gotta do 10 pages, and a presentation. Haha! Good luck to me!

<3

New layout

I figured I should change the look, to match the influence.

It's a book by Hansi (Jean Jacques Waltz), an Alsatian author born in Colmar in 1873, just after Alsace was taken back by the Weimar Republic. He was a French patriot, from what I understand, and loved Alsace dearly. All of his work portrays typical Alsatian life, at that time, and he's still a very well known artist to this day (you can't hit a tourist place here, without finding SOMETHING Hansi inspired or related).

So last year, for school, I did a powerpoint about Alsace, since I was planning on living here for a year. Tom was awesome and let me ask him questions about the area, and he was the one who told me about Hansi. So naturally I go to do some digging about Hansi and lo and behold, I found this bookcover.

Now keep in mind, my name had some very ironic ties to the Count of Monte Cristo, which I also found out from Tom. Chateau d'If? "If" is a type of tree. A Yew tree (un arbre d'If) to be exact. Well, York, if you take it out of the Latin origins (traces back to the city name Eboracum. In Gaelic it's a little different spelling, and I believe German it goes back to Euric, but is an entirely different meaning...but I digress), it means "Yew tree." Well with my 'escape' from my father over the last year, it was all too ironic when I found that out. Well, now find a book named Le Voyage D'Erika en Alsace Francaise, about 6 months before I was set to leave for "Alsace Francaise" that just makes the irony even better. Even my French prof said, "I don't necessarily believe in signs, but if there was ever something to make me believe in them, it would be that!"

So now, here we are, Erika REALLY writing about her voyage in Alsace. I have to admit, I really want to buy that book. There's a Hansi museum in Colmar I want to see, and if things permit it so, I will definitely head that way, one of these days, before I leave. And if I can get my hands on that book....WIN!!!!!!!!!!

But I had better go. I have things to do this afternoon, I had planned on doing before I got woke up at 4 am, thinking I was getting sick again. Time is not on my side at the moment. :-P