Au Revoir Strasbourg

So..

It's my last morning here in Stras. I frankly can't believe it; the craziness that is living in a foreign country is over. I  have a train at 3 this afternoon to Paris, and from Paris, home.

Saying Goodbye has been a mixed bag. Some goodbyes have been full of laughs and smiles and thanks for the memories. Saying goodbye to Melinda and Mikhail made me angry and cry, saying goodbye to Tom and Mariela made me smile and feel fortunate to know them, and saying goodbye to the Senadjis...well I walked out of their apartment in tears.

So I guess now it's time to say goodbye to this blog. I may start another one, since there's so much going on when I get home too (good and bad), to talk about the year after but we'll see. I may add to this one once I get home too. Who knows...

I have a lot of thigns waiting for me. Regardless of where i'm going, I have a boyfriend, and wonderful friends, and a brand new puppy dog waiting on me. I have a home, waiting for me to come back and complete it. I have professors I can talk about experiences with. I have volunteer work to get back to. I have a career to start thinking about. All of these are great and wonderful things. I'm nervous as hell about it, but I also have a feeling I'm coming home to a better life than the one I left behind. I've lived the life I wanted for myself, and had a blast doing it. now, let's go home, and see what's next.

Things I'm looking forward about going home

1.) Brandon
2.) My friends
3.) My professors
4.) My volunteer work
5.) MY PUPPY!
6.) The XBox/Video games
7.) IHOP
8.) Taco Bell

Just to name the important ones. I leave in 8 days. OMGWTF!!!!!

The Final Countdown...

No computer for a month really killed my updating. And now that there's only 13 days left in France, I'm...well be prepared for a word dump.

The last several weeks have been wonderful. I finally got to do the Colmar-Riquewihr trip with Sibylle I had been talking about and we had a blast! I think Riquewihr is the prettiest place I've ever seen. And I had really been wanting to see a small French town like that. ANd Colmar and Riquewihr both lie in the Route des Vins, so the countryside was beautiful.

Since then though has just been a countdown to coming home...like I actually can remember the days. And it's not necessarily something I'm excited about. It's been a lot of mixed emotions, that's for sure.

Brandon has a character in his little realm that is by all definition a mutant. I won't describe details, for his sake, but one thing about this character is, as soon as you call her a freak, she flips. It's the one insult that can (and does) set her off.

All my life I've felt like a freak. An untouchable. A weirdo. A misfit. Whatever, you name it, I felt like it. I've been alienated my whole life. And, in comparison to others my own age, I've always felt like the freak. Even if they didn't do anything to make me feel that way, I just did. My past always made me feel weird and misunderstood. Alienated may be a better word. i was the poor kid whose mother died; whose father wound up being a sicko maniac; whose brother hates her; who has no job, car, or money...

But here in Strasbourg, that's not the case. And people KNOW the 'bad' sides of me too, yet I don't feel like this weirdo misfit loser anymore. And it's weird...it's honest to goodness weird. I mean it's a good change, right? But it's still odd as hell. I almost don't know what to do with what I've been able to become.

I like what I've been able to become though. I've been able to become/be the person I always wanted to be, and live the life I want for myself. it's a very nice change of pace, and I have to admit it's half of why the idea of leaving has been so hard.I've been able to hop off of everyone else's dysfunctional Ferris wheels, and live like people are supposed to live. After having memories fogged with drama and craziness, it's been a great change of pace.

And on the note of leaving, I've started saying all of my goodbyes. I said goodbye to Mikhail last week, as he left on Tuesday...then had a funny encore of that goodbye a few days later. Melinda and Véronique left yesterday, which was hard. We (me, vero, matt, adele, cliodhna and sunny) all crashed out with Melinda and goofed off the whole night. We got all of about 3 hours of sleep and then we saw Véro off from the Lufthansa stop at the train station in the morning. We got teary eyed as we watched her leave, and the fact there was still one more goodbye to be said didn't make it any better.

Melinda left that afternoon for Paris. Intermittently was fun because we all ran around and helped her do her last minute things. She insisted on not making us help, but we did anyway, and with success (and a ghetto rigged shower rod) we were on time! We got her to the train station, and waited around for about half an hour, until it was time for her to leave. Melinda was emotional, and i tried holding it together best I could, but when it came down to the last hugs, I lost it and bawled. Of course I actually had a full face of makeup on, so there that all went. haha! But it really weighed on me, saying 2 goodbyes in one day.

Sunny and Cliodhna had to be goofy and ran off after the train as it pulled away from the station, but Adele and I cried. She said it best though, "It wasn't real until the train moved." That's exactly how it was. Once her train left, that was the end.

And that has really been hitting me hard too. This is all...over. Anis has made it to the International school. I made my trips to Stuttgart. I've done my last bit of grocery shopping. Finals are over. Friends are going home. I'm half packed up. I'm...leaving. It's so weird, because as rough as the beginning was, I settled into life here, and now I get to be uprooted again. Let's just hope I can have the stability back home I've been able to have here.

Time flies

So I come home in exactly one month. What. The. Fuck. Seriously, there are no other words to describe how I feel about that. I can't believe it's the end of May already, and all these friends I've made here will be going back to their corners of the world, as I head to mine. Really, I'm not too keen on that. I've made some damn amazing friends, but I have another entry I want to write about it.

Well, the last few weeks have been interesting as I've broken both my comp and my bank card. hahahah yeah I'm baiscally stranded. I'll live though. I just have to go a few more days until both are restored to me. Yay!

The last week though has been full of activities. Finals were done for a whole group of us last Friday, so that led to spending the night drinking, laughing, and goofing off. I haven't laughed that hard in a REALLY long time. And Saturday, Véronique and I made pancakes, eggs and bacon for everyone (her, me, Melinda and Matt) and we spent the day hanging out, laying around, and just being lazy...as post drinking things usually dictate.

Museé des Beaux Arts avec Melinda

Sunday, I went to some of the museums here with Melinda, and eventually Véronique joined us. I had a blast, but I usually do at museums. Even the few that exist in the Fort amuse me. After that I spent a few hours at the cyber café and then decided to go exploring...

I took line B all the way to the end, to a small town called Hoenheim. Cute, quaint, picturesque, pretty average for these parts, as it were. I saw a really neat little cemetary in the town, where half the gravestones were written in German, and the other half in French. You know you're in Alsace when...but anyway it was actually really fascinating!

Well this cemetary also happened to be the city line between Hoenheim and another town, Bischheim. Well I knew the tram line went through Bischheim too, so why not just catch it there? Good in theory, but in practice?

Yep I got lost...

Well no worries...I'll find it...Yeah I wound up in the next town, Schiltigheim. Ok no worries, I'd been to Schiltigheim before, I figutred I would make it back there no problem. Hahaha yeah...lost again.

Long story short, I walked 3 towns and half of Strasbourg before FINALLY getting a tram home. I was EXHAUSTED but had a good day. :D

Monday I hung out with Sibylle and finally caved, and watched Pride and Prejudice. It was the 1995 version from BBC with Colin Firth. I have to say, I'm glad I got over my 'prejudices' and watched the movie. The actress who played Mrs. Bennet was FANTASTIC! I loved her! And I can see why people have told me Elizabeth reminds me of them. I think I'll have to read the book when I get home now.

Tuesday, I finally got to go to Offenburg with Melinda and Véronique, and I loved it! It was just as beautiful as I thought, and it was a cheap trip. The town was cute, and happy, and the weather was PERFECT for a day trip! We had a blast just wandering around the town, seeing what was there, and taking pictures. It was a great change of scenery. And Melinda and I just HAD to play in the fountain in the Stadtmitte (downtown if you will).

 Heiligenkreuze Kirche

Right off the bus

Stadtkirche

Der Rathaus

 

The  rest of the week has been basically trying to amuse myself without a computer. It's HARD! hahahaha! Like REALLY hard! Sad but true.

That said though I should probably finish so I don't waste all my time on the computers here in the café. Only 5 more days ;)

playing in the fountain

Osama Bin Laden is Dead

One of the biggest pieces of news that any American of my generation could hear, no matter your feelings on the matter, has finally been announced: Osama Bin Laden is dead.

I woke up hearing about it, surprisingly from one of my Canadian friends (haha what is up with you Canadians! XD Yeah yeah yeah I know...sometimes it's good having you as my hat lol). None too much in details, but it didn't take long to find out either. And to be honest I don't know how I entirely feel about it. By that I mean, no one emotion prevailed in my reaction to it.

As per usual, all I could end up doing is crying. Surprise, surprise right?

All the stories that have come out through the years, all the crying, suffering, anger, protests, questions, debates...it's all finally been for SOMETHING. Even personally, while I've not been touched by this as much as some others, it's made me angry over the years to see the people who WERE directly affected by this suffer like they have. What HAVE they suffered for? Why have people died, given up their lives, and then been screwed over by the government they fought so hard to defend? It makes me angry, because this is no small thing these people have done, so what is the point in doing it? Nothing. Nothing at all.

Or so it seemed. Finally, it's been worth SOMETHING. I don't know if the price paid is worth it, but it's been more than it ever has been before. These people who've lost so much that was so dear to them, have finally been...validated. It will never replace the person or people that have been lost, or the emotional damage that has been done or anything like that, but now it at least means something. People can go to bed tonight and know that in the end, it hasn't been all in vain.

Not to mention of all times to hear this, I'm hearing it when i'm out of the country. That just adds a level of weird to all of it.

Anyway, I don't know if there's much else to say about it; I'm still a bag of WTF and what am I going to do today? The personal to-do list is mixing with the idea of remembering the things that are bigger than us. That always makes for an odd mix.

CAF and the Royal Wedding

So the months long ordeal of battling CAF for financial assistance to pay my rent is OVER! Of course, I leave France in 2 months, and I started this in December, but oh my god...

Here's the play by play til now:

December: Filed paperwork just before Christmas

January: Receive a letter saying oops ya dun fucked up and forgot to sign the forms...which I did...even after a friend reminded me. Fail. So I do, go turn them in, no big.

February: Get another letter: Your passport is illegible. I was pissed because now THEY'RE fucking around. So I get another photocopy, and off I go to the office. Guess what was closes "à cause d'un mouvement de grêve?" Yep you got it. So I got pissed and gave up.

March: Get a letter giving me til the end of the month to give them a photocopy. I debated, was it worth it, do I need to, etc, and figured why the hell not? So At almost the last second I take another photocopy (mind you I had also been REALLY busy between la Semaine Européenne and papers and whatnot) and they ok'd it.

April: After almost a MONTH, I get a letter, FINALLY saying you're eligible BUT we need your birth certificate and SSN. Ok, SSN is nothing, but birth certificate? Let's just say right now, it's easier for Obama to prove his birthplace than it is for me. Because of all the moving of the last year, I have NO idea where mine is. It may be lost, or it may not be, I don't know. And to get a new one is $10. Oh and I wasn't born in Fort Wayne, I was born in Indianapolis. So yeah, that makes it even MORE fun.

So I go in today to see about it, they said no big deal, that it's not THAT important since I had my SSN and SS card. Thank GOD! So this month I get money for April and May I get 94€ ($138 thereabout) and June I get 47€. Not a lot, but after having to buy this comp, it helps BIG TIME!!!

So I spurged on Subway for lunch lol

OH! And since I'm here I may as well write about the Royal Wedding today. I have to admit, I thought t was adorable they got married on St. Catherine's feast day. I bet they planned it but still I love it! The wedding was so pretty, and everyone looked fantastic, and I even got home from CAF just in time to see them kiss! It made me so happy!!! Weddings in general do, and seeing them so happy and so in love was just great. When she finally got walked down the aisle and they stood at the altar together, you could see it all over their faces how much they love each other. It was such a great way to wake up and start the day!

Anyway, that's all for now. I wanted to share my little bit of news before I go find something else to do!

Douche bags, Totally Minnie, et un nouvel ordi

The beloved Ghetto Rig

My comp died...finally. It became the pair of pants you just couldn't stitch up anymore. Poor Ghetto Rig shall rest in peace. Funny thing is it was holding up ok, then it said it needed to be reset to take care of updates. Ok, whatever, I did as much. When it went to restart, it...wouldn't.

I had to take it by Darty (thank god this time I at least knew where to go) and saw if they could do anything. The guy tinkered with it, and said there was nothing he could do. The hard drive finally bit the dust.

Nouvel Ordi

So 235€ later I walk out with the cheapest netbook I could find. It's a nice little machine, though it could use another gig of RAM and the French keyboard has taken some adjusting. It'll suffice though. Debating on getting a desktop for at home, and keeping the netbook for school, since it's a euro keyboard, it'll be a good deal for writing notes in class next year.

This week of break I have completely succeeded at finding the Totally Minnie special I watched religiously as a kid. I think I nearly wore the tape out that my mom had recorded it on when I was 4. It was nice seeing it again. Totally hoaky, totally 80's, but still adorable as hell! It was fun watching it for probably the first time in 20 years. XD Infatuations start young I'm telling you...

But anyway, onto the meat and potatoes of what I have to say.

I've had my fair share of experiences with jerks since getting here. Definitely a huge let down, as I think most American girls have this image in their head about what European guys are, and it's definitely better than your average American guy. And I have to say this: looks wise, your average Euro guy is just...WOW! Always well dressed, well groomed, and usually pretty good looking anyway. And no, they're probably not gay. Some are, but most aren't, so it's totally ok to look and drool while you're on the tram. haha!

Exhibit A:

Ok so I did the creeper thing. Yes, it's Gil Ofarim, BUT I see (well saw...not winter anymore) guys dressed like this ALL the time. He definitely looks the part of an average Euro guy, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that look. Kinda like Katy Perry's Ur So Gay, minus the fact the guy's a dickbag. Ok, maybe not QUITE that, but as the look isn't so common back home, I love seeing it here. Lucky me, Brandon kinda dresses that way anyhow (I think it kind of surprised him actually when I pointed out how his style is au pareil with what I see here).

So now that I am done praising physical appearances, all I have to say now is Euro guys are great, until they try to talk to you. Well, at least French guys. Save for the one drunk German Sibylle and I encountered, Germans are pretty rad. No comments from the peanut gallery on that one, s'il te plaît. I've had more MORONS try to hook up with me, get my phone number, ask me out, and on and on and on and on. Several idiots have tried to pick me up while I waited on the tram, a Georgian (the country, not the state) told me I was "the most beautiful American" he'd ever seen, after walking RIGHT UP next to me when I wasn't paying attention (creepy much?), I've heard twice "Hey you know who this guy is, right?" from guys trying to pick me up for their friends (I hope to God one set was drunk...they easily had 15 - 20 years on me), one guy who was lame enough to sign his name Fran6 (Francis...end of the name in French sounds like the pronunciation for 6) hit on me AND Melinda (oh how that still makes me laugh...gotta give him credit though he had a way with words), I've been ask "Mais, tu as envie de fair l'amour avec un français avant que tu rentres aux USA?" (But don't you want to make love with a French guy before you go back to the US?), I was picked up in the IMMIGRATION OFFICE of all places, been asked if I wanna fuck some guy after hanging out with a friend after a movie (we were both propositioned...in very BAD English might I add) I mean I've heard it ALL. And are they the well - dressed, courteous, good - looking French guys? No of course not. Because, you know, they're all taken, or have other priorities in life besides dating (which good for them, shows they have a good head on their shoulders). I mean not that it'd work anyway because, you know, in June I'm going home to Brandon, but that's beside the point. Point is, it's RIDICULOUS. Definitely not what I expected. I figured French guys would at least have a little more respect for women. I mean...it's France. Land of wine, romance, and culture. Hello, really want to seduce a girl, those are the three things you need. And no, not wine to get her drunk, but to show you're more sophisticated than the cheap beer guzzling rednecks I'm accustomed to trying to say something. Romance and culture go without saying any more.

The last 2 weeks, it's been absolutely insane. We're talking I've almost felt violated and one instance almost went to the Police.

The police one was just...disgusting. There was a moron who bugged me right around Christmas for a few days, but he was just annoying. Eventually I convinced him to shut up and leave me alone. And good to his word, not a peep since then. Well, I get a text a few weeks ago from some random number. I figured they just had a wrong number, bid them good day, think nothing of it. Few days later, I get another random text from the same number asking me if I'm a guy or a girl. I go on the defensive immediately (not to mention EVERYTHING he wrote was in slang...oh my god ANNOYING). I'm asking where they got the number, never actually said straight up I was a woman, but you could tell, and said to leave me alone.

His reply?

Send me a pic of...and I'll leave you alone.

THAT set me off. I swore in as many ways as I could think of in French and English, demanded he left me alone, I didn't want to talk, he needed to go away, I even suggested finding porn on the internet if he was so desperate.

Reply?

My comp is fucked up.

Me: Not my problem. Caisse - toi (fuck off)

THEN it gets even better. He tells me he's a lesbian and that it shouldn't bother me because we're both women so what's the big deal if I send a pic?

Yes, because that makes me want to send something like that...

By this point I'm texting French friends for advice, and if I can take this to the police, and if they consider it harassment. I was that fed up with this crap. And I finally told the loser if he didn't stop I would go to the police, and I would file a complaint since I had all the messages, and his phone number. Come to find out, it's a friend of the idiot from before Christmas. But now i have names and phone numbers so if anything happens again...there's a police station about 5 minutes from me.

So I calm down from that, and a few days later, I walk to Kehl with Melinda and Véronique, and whaddya know, as I'm waiting at Esplanade to meet Melinda and Véro, 2 guys use the "hey you know who he is right? he's a famous football player!" thing. Oh gee...

I won't elaborate, except Melinda and Véro showed up just in the nick of time and saved me from these assheads.

Fast forward to Friday. Oh this gets great.

I walked to the CAF office to wonder what the fuck the hold up is on me getting any assistance (I've been at this since December...partially my fault, but they've been a pain in the ass too). I didn't realize it was Good Friday, and EVERYTHING was closed. Oops, oh well, the office isn't far from me so it's not like I wasted a tram ticket or anything. I walked home, headed into my building, no big.

Half way up to the first floor, some idiot is following me trying to get my attention (I have my headphones in so I heard nothing). I finally noticed him and am looking at him like WTF do you want? His question? Do I have a cigarette? Oh my god, I wanted to smack him. I answer no. Then it's the normal spiel of questions: You live here? (no I just have a key because the administration thought it'd be funny to see if anyone asks that very question so they gave me one to see what would happen) You're a student? (no, I just like to make people THINK I am) What are you doing? Do you have time to chat?

Of course by the time he's asking if I can talk I'm so mad I didn't quite get the question. So I answered with "peut-être" (maybe). Still being standoffish mind you but he took it as a yes. So guess who invites himself to my room.

That pissed me off. So I'm walking to my room very angrily, he's trying to start conversation with me and I'm going oh yeah uh huh sure, and as we get to my room, I barely open the door wide enough to get myself in, and slam it and lock it in dipshit's face.

I swear, I've had some adventures with French men.

Anyway I had more I wanted to say but as this is already long enough. I'll add the other entry another time.