So..
It's my last morning here in Stras. I frankly can't believe it; the craziness that is living in a foreign country is over. I have a train at 3 this afternoon to Paris, and from Paris, home.
Saying Goodbye has been a mixed bag. Some goodbyes have been full of laughs and smiles and thanks for the memories. Saying goodbye to Melinda and Mikhail made me angry and cry, saying goodbye to Tom and Mariela made me smile and feel fortunate to know them, and saying goodbye to the Senadjis...well I walked out of their apartment in tears.
So I guess now it's time to say goodbye to this blog. I may start another one, since there's so much going on when I get home too (good and bad), to talk about the year after but we'll see. I may add to this one once I get home too. Who knows...
I have a lot of thigns waiting for me. Regardless of where i'm going, I have a boyfriend, and wonderful friends, and a brand new puppy dog waiting on me. I have a home, waiting for me to come back and complete it. I have professors I can talk about experiences with. I have volunteer work to get back to. I have a career to start thinking about. All of these are great and wonderful things. I'm nervous as hell about it, but I also have a feeling I'm coming home to a better life than the one I left behind. I've lived the life I wanted for myself, and had a blast doing it. now, let's go home, and see what's next.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Things I'm looking forward about going home
1.) Brandon
2.) My friends
3.) My professors
4.) My volunteer work
5.) MY PUPPY!
6.) The XBox/Video games
7.) IHOP
8.) Taco Bell
Just to name the important ones. I leave in 8 days. OMGWTF!!!!!
2.) My friends
3.) My professors
4.) My volunteer work
5.) MY PUPPY!
6.) The XBox/Video games
7.) IHOP
8.) Taco Bell
Just to name the important ones. I leave in 8 days. OMGWTF!!!!!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
The Final Countdown...
No computer for a month really killed my updating. And now that there's only 13 days left in France, I'm...well be prepared for a word dump.
The last several weeks have been wonderful. I finally got to do the Colmar-Riquewihr trip with Sibylle I had been talking about and we had a blast! I think Riquewihr is the prettiest place I've ever seen. And I had really been wanting to see a small French town like that. ANd Colmar and Riquewihr both lie in the Route des Vins, so the countryside was beautiful.
Since then though has just been a countdown to coming home...like I actually can remember the days. And it's not necessarily something I'm excited about. It's been a lot of mixed emotions, that's for sure.
Brandon has a character in his little realm that is by all definition a mutant. I won't describe details, for his sake, but one thing about this character is, as soon as you call her a freak, she flips. It's the one insult that can (and does) set her off.
All my life I've felt like a freak. An untouchable. A weirdo. A misfit. Whatever, you name it, I felt like it. I've been alienated my whole life. And, in comparison to others my own age, I've always felt like the freak. Even if they didn't do anything to make me feel that way, I just did. My past always made me feel weird and misunderstood. Alienated may be a better word. i was the poor kid whose mother died; whose father wound up being a sicko maniac; whose brother hates her; who has no job, car, or money...
But here in Strasbourg, that's not the case. And people KNOW the 'bad' sides of me too, yet I don't feel like this weirdo misfit loser anymore. And it's weird...it's honest to goodness weird. I mean it's a good change, right? But it's still odd as hell. I almost don't know what to do with what I've been able to become.
I like what I've been able to become though. I've been able to become/be the person I always wanted to be, and live the life I want for myself. it's a very nice change of pace, and I have to admit it's half of why the idea of leaving has been so hard.I've been able to hop off of everyone else's dysfunctional Ferris wheels, and live like people are supposed to live. After having memories fogged with drama and craziness, it's been a great change of pace.
And on the note of leaving, I've started saying all of my goodbyes. I said goodbye to Mikhail last week, as he left on Tuesday...then had a funny encore of that goodbye a few days later. Melinda and Véronique left yesterday, which was hard. We (me, vero, matt, adele, cliodhna and sunny) all crashed out with Melinda and goofed off the whole night. We got all of about 3 hours of sleep and then we saw Véro off from the Lufthansa stop at the train station in the morning. We got teary eyed as we watched her leave, and the fact there was still one more goodbye to be said didn't make it any better.
Melinda left that afternoon for Paris. Intermittently was fun because we all ran around and helped her do her last minute things. She insisted on not making us help, but we did anyway, and with success (and a ghetto rigged shower rod) we were on time! We got her to the train station, and waited around for about half an hour, until it was time for her to leave. Melinda was emotional, and i tried holding it together best I could, but when it came down to the last hugs, I lost it and bawled. Of course I actually had a full face of makeup on, so there that all went. haha! But it really weighed on me, saying 2 goodbyes in one day.
Sunny and Cliodhna had to be goofy and ran off after the train as it pulled away from the station, but Adele and I cried. She said it best though, "It wasn't real until the train moved." That's exactly how it was. Once her train left, that was the end.
And that has really been hitting me hard too. This is all...over. Anis has made it to the International school. I made my trips to Stuttgart. I've done my last bit of grocery shopping. Finals are over. Friends are going home. I'm half packed up. I'm...leaving. It's so weird, because as rough as the beginning was, I settled into life here, and now I get to be uprooted again. Let's just hope I can have the stability back home I've been able to have here.
The last several weeks have been wonderful. I finally got to do the Colmar-Riquewihr trip with Sibylle I had been talking about and we had a blast! I think Riquewihr is the prettiest place I've ever seen. And I had really been wanting to see a small French town like that. ANd Colmar and Riquewihr both lie in the Route des Vins, so the countryside was beautiful.
Since then though has just been a countdown to coming home...like I actually can remember the days. And it's not necessarily something I'm excited about. It's been a lot of mixed emotions, that's for sure.
Brandon has a character in his little realm that is by all definition a mutant. I won't describe details, for his sake, but one thing about this character is, as soon as you call her a freak, she flips. It's the one insult that can (and does) set her off.
All my life I've felt like a freak. An untouchable. A weirdo. A misfit. Whatever, you name it, I felt like it. I've been alienated my whole life. And, in comparison to others my own age, I've always felt like the freak. Even if they didn't do anything to make me feel that way, I just did. My past always made me feel weird and misunderstood. Alienated may be a better word. i was the poor kid whose mother died; whose father wound up being a sicko maniac; whose brother hates her; who has no job, car, or money...
But here in Strasbourg, that's not the case. And people KNOW the 'bad' sides of me too, yet I don't feel like this weirdo misfit loser anymore. And it's weird...it's honest to goodness weird. I mean it's a good change, right? But it's still odd as hell. I almost don't know what to do with what I've been able to become.
I like what I've been able to become though. I've been able to become/be the person I always wanted to be, and live the life I want for myself. it's a very nice change of pace, and I have to admit it's half of why the idea of leaving has been so hard.I've been able to hop off of everyone else's dysfunctional Ferris wheels, and live like people are supposed to live. After having memories fogged with drama and craziness, it's been a great change of pace.
And on the note of leaving, I've started saying all of my goodbyes. I said goodbye to Mikhail last week, as he left on Tuesday...then had a funny encore of that goodbye a few days later. Melinda and Véronique left yesterday, which was hard. We (me, vero, matt, adele, cliodhna and sunny) all crashed out with Melinda and goofed off the whole night. We got all of about 3 hours of sleep and then we saw Véro off from the Lufthansa stop at the train station in the morning. We got teary eyed as we watched her leave, and the fact there was still one more goodbye to be said didn't make it any better.
Melinda left that afternoon for Paris. Intermittently was fun because we all ran around and helped her do her last minute things. She insisted on not making us help, but we did anyway, and with success (and a ghetto rigged shower rod) we were on time! We got her to the train station, and waited around for about half an hour, until it was time for her to leave. Melinda was emotional, and i tried holding it together best I could, but when it came down to the last hugs, I lost it and bawled. Of course I actually had a full face of makeup on, so there that all went. haha! But it really weighed on me, saying 2 goodbyes in one day.
Sunny and Cliodhna had to be goofy and ran off after the train as it pulled away from the station, but Adele and I cried. She said it best though, "It wasn't real until the train moved." That's exactly how it was. Once her train left, that was the end.
And that has really been hitting me hard too. This is all...over. Anis has made it to the International school. I made my trips to Stuttgart. I've done my last bit of grocery shopping. Finals are over. Friends are going home. I'm half packed up. I'm...leaving. It's so weird, because as rough as the beginning was, I settled into life here, and now I get to be uprooted again. Let's just hope I can have the stability back home I've been able to have here.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Time flies
So I come home in exactly one month. What. The. Fuck. Seriously, there are no other words to describe how I feel about that. I can't believe it's the end of May already, and all these friends I've made here will be going back to their corners of the world, as I head to mine. Really, I'm not too keen on that. I've made some damn amazing friends, but I have another entry I want to write about it.
Well, the last few weeks have been interesting as I've broken both my comp and my bank card. hahahah yeah I'm baiscally stranded. I'll live though. I just have to go a few more days until both are restored to me. Yay!
The last week though has been full of activities. Finals were done for a whole group of us last Friday, so that led to spending the night drinking, laughing, and goofing off. I haven't laughed that hard in a REALLY long time. And Saturday, Véronique and I made pancakes, eggs and bacon for everyone (her, me, Melinda and Matt) and we spent the day hanging out, laying around, and just being lazy...as post drinking things usually dictate.
Sunday, I went to some of the museums here with Melinda, and eventually Véronique joined us. I had a blast, but I usually do at museums. Even the few that exist in the Fort amuse me. After that I spent a few hours at the cyber café and then decided to go exploring...
I took line B all the way to the end, to a small town called Hoenheim. Cute, quaint, picturesque, pretty average for these parts, as it were. I saw a really neat little cemetary in the town, where half the gravestones were written in German, and the other half in French. You know you're in Alsace when...but anyway it was actually really fascinating!
Well this cemetary also happened to be the city line between Hoenheim and another town, Bischheim. Well I knew the tram line went through Bischheim too, so why not just catch it there? Good in theory, but in practice?
Yep I got lost...
Well no worries...I'll find it...Yeah I wound up in the next town, Schiltigheim. Ok no worries, I'd been to Schiltigheim before, I figutred I would make it back there no problem. Hahaha yeah...lost again.
Long story short, I walked 3 towns and half of Strasbourg before FINALLY getting a tram home. I was EXHAUSTED but had a good day. :D
Monday I hung out with Sibylle and finally caved, and watched Pride and Prejudice. It was the 1995 version from BBC with Colin Firth. I have to say, I'm glad I got over my 'prejudices' and watched the movie. The actress who played Mrs. Bennet was FANTASTIC! I loved her! And I can see why people have told me Elizabeth reminds me of them. I think I'll have to read the book when I get home now.
Tuesday, I finally got to go to Offenburg with Melinda and Véronique, and I loved it! It was just as beautiful as I thought, and it was a cheap trip. The town was cute, and happy, and the weather was PERFECT for a day trip! We had a blast just wandering around the town, seeing what was there, and taking pictures. It was a great change of scenery. And Melinda and I just HAD to play in the fountain in the Stadtmitte (downtown if you will).
Well, the last few weeks have been interesting as I've broken both my comp and my bank card. hahahah yeah I'm baiscally stranded. I'll live though. I just have to go a few more days until both are restored to me. Yay!
The last week though has been full of activities. Finals were done for a whole group of us last Friday, so that led to spending the night drinking, laughing, and goofing off. I haven't laughed that hard in a REALLY long time. And Saturday, Véronique and I made pancakes, eggs and bacon for everyone (her, me, Melinda and Matt) and we spent the day hanging out, laying around, and just being lazy...as post drinking things usually dictate.
 |
| Museé des Beaux Arts avec Melinda |
I took line B all the way to the end, to a small town called Hoenheim. Cute, quaint, picturesque, pretty average for these parts, as it were. I saw a really neat little cemetary in the town, where half the gravestones were written in German, and the other half in French. You know you're in Alsace when...but anyway it was actually really fascinating!
Yep I got lost...
Well no worries...I'll find it...Yeah I wound up in the next town, Schiltigheim. Ok no worries, I'd been to Schiltigheim before, I figutred I would make it back there no problem. Hahaha yeah...lost again.
Long story short, I walked 3 towns and half of Strasbourg before FINALLY getting a tram home. I was EXHAUSTED but had a good day. :D
Monday I hung out with Sibylle and finally caved, and watched Pride and Prejudice. It was the 1995 version from BBC with Colin Firth. I have to say, I'm glad I got over my 'prejudices' and watched the movie. The actress who played Mrs. Bennet was FANTASTIC! I loved her! And I can see why people have told me Elizabeth reminds me of them. I think I'll have to read the book when I get home now.
Tuesday, I finally got to go to Offenburg with Melinda and Véronique, and I loved it! It was just as beautiful as I thought, and it was a cheap trip. The town was cute, and happy, and the weather was PERFECT for a day trip! We had a blast just wandering around the town, seeing what was there, and taking pictures. It was a great change of scenery. And Melinda and I just HAD to play in the fountain in the Stadtmitte (downtown if you will).
 | |||||
| Heiligenkreuze Kirche |
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| Right off the bus |
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| Stadtkirche |
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| Der Rathaus |
 | The rest of the week has been basically trying to amuse myself without a computer. It's HARD! hahahaha! Like REALLY hard! Sad but true. | That said though I should probably finish so I don't waste all my time on the computers here in the café. Only 5 more days ;) | |||||
| playing in the fountain |
Monday, May 2, 2011
Osama Bin Laden is Dead
One of the biggest pieces of news that any American of my generation could hear, no matter your feelings on the matter, has finally been announced: Osama Bin Laden is dead.
I woke up hearing about it, surprisingly from one of my Canadian friends (haha what is up with you Canadians! XD Yeah yeah yeah I know...sometimes it's good having you as my hat lol). None too much in details, but it didn't take long to find out either. And to be honest I don't know how I entirely feel about it. By that I mean, no one emotion prevailed in my reaction to it.
As per usual, all I could end up doing is crying. Surprise, surprise right?
All the stories that have come out through the years, all the crying, suffering, anger, protests, questions, debates...it's all finally been for SOMETHING. Even personally, while I've not been touched by this as much as some others, it's made me angry over the years to see the people who WERE directly affected by this suffer like they have. What HAVE they suffered for? Why have people died, given up their lives, and then been screwed over by the government they fought so hard to defend? It makes me angry, because this is no small thing these people have done, so what is the point in doing it? Nothing. Nothing at all.
Or so it seemed. Finally, it's been worth SOMETHING. I don't know if the price paid is worth it, but it's been more than it ever has been before. These people who've lost so much that was so dear to them, have finally been...validated. It will never replace the person or people that have been lost, or the emotional damage that has been done or anything like that, but now it at least means something. People can go to bed tonight and know that in the end, it hasn't been all in vain.
Not to mention of all times to hear this, I'm hearing it when i'm out of the country. That just adds a level of weird to all of it.
Anyway, I don't know if there's much else to say about it; I'm still a bag of WTF and what am I going to do today? The personal to-do list is mixing with the idea of remembering the things that are bigger than us. That always makes for an odd mix.
I woke up hearing about it, surprisingly from one of my Canadian friends (haha what is up with you Canadians! XD Yeah yeah yeah I know...sometimes it's good having you as my hat lol). None too much in details, but it didn't take long to find out either. And to be honest I don't know how I entirely feel about it. By that I mean, no one emotion prevailed in my reaction to it.
As per usual, all I could end up doing is crying. Surprise, surprise right?
All the stories that have come out through the years, all the crying, suffering, anger, protests, questions, debates...it's all finally been for SOMETHING. Even personally, while I've not been touched by this as much as some others, it's made me angry over the years to see the people who WERE directly affected by this suffer like they have. What HAVE they suffered for? Why have people died, given up their lives, and then been screwed over by the government they fought so hard to defend? It makes me angry, because this is no small thing these people have done, so what is the point in doing it? Nothing. Nothing at all.
Or so it seemed. Finally, it's been worth SOMETHING. I don't know if the price paid is worth it, but it's been more than it ever has been before. These people who've lost so much that was so dear to them, have finally been...validated. It will never replace the person or people that have been lost, or the emotional damage that has been done or anything like that, but now it at least means something. People can go to bed tonight and know that in the end, it hasn't been all in vain.
Not to mention of all times to hear this, I'm hearing it when i'm out of the country. That just adds a level of weird to all of it.
Anyway, I don't know if there's much else to say about it; I'm still a bag of WTF and what am I going to do today? The personal to-do list is mixing with the idea of remembering the things that are bigger than us. That always makes for an odd mix.
Friday, April 29, 2011
CAF and the Royal Wedding
So the months long ordeal of battling CAF for financial assistance to pay my rent is OVER! Of course, I leave France in 2 months, and I started this in December, but oh my god...
Here's the play by play til now:
December: Filed paperwork just before Christmas
January: Receive a letter saying oops ya dun fucked up and forgot to sign the forms...which I did...even after a friend reminded me. Fail. So I do, go turn them in, no big.
February: Get another letter: Your passport is illegible. I was pissed because now THEY'RE fucking around. So I get another photocopy, and off I go to the office. Guess what was closes "à cause d'un mouvement de grêve?" Yep you got it. So I got pissed and gave up.
March: Get a letter giving me til the end of the month to give them a photocopy. I debated, was it worth it, do I need to, etc, and figured why the hell not? So At almost the last second I take another photocopy (mind you I had also been REALLY busy between la Semaine Européenne and papers and whatnot) and they ok'd it.
April: After almost a MONTH, I get a letter, FINALLY saying you're eligible BUT we need your birth certificate and SSN. Ok, SSN is nothing, but birth certificate? Let's just say right now, it's easier for Obama to prove his birthplace than it is for me. Because of all the moving of the last year, I have NO idea where mine is. It may be lost, or it may not be, I don't know. And to get a new one is $10. Oh and I wasn't born in Fort Wayne, I was born in Indianapolis. So yeah, that makes it even MORE fun.
So I go in today to see about it, they said no big deal, that it's not THAT important since I had my SSN and SS card. Thank GOD! So this month I get money for April and May I get 94€ ($138 thereabout) and June I get 47€. Not a lot, but after having to buy this comp, it helps BIG TIME!!!
So I spurged on Subway for lunch lol
OH! And since I'm here I may as well write about the Royal Wedding today. I have to admit, I thought t was adorable they got married on St. Catherine's feast day. I bet they planned it but still I love it! The wedding was so pretty, and everyone looked fantastic, and I even got home from CAF just in time to see them kiss! It made me so happy!!! Weddings in general do, and seeing them so happy and so in love was just great. When she finally got walked down the aisle and they stood at the altar together, you could see it all over their faces how much they love each other. It was such a great way to wake up and start the day!
Anyway, that's all for now. I wanted to share my little bit of news before I go find something else to do!
Here's the play by play til now:
December: Filed paperwork just before Christmas
January: Receive a letter saying oops ya dun fucked up and forgot to sign the forms...which I did...even after a friend reminded me. Fail. So I do, go turn them in, no big.
February: Get another letter: Your passport is illegible. I was pissed because now THEY'RE fucking around. So I get another photocopy, and off I go to the office. Guess what was closes "à cause d'un mouvement de grêve?" Yep you got it. So I got pissed and gave up.
March: Get a letter giving me til the end of the month to give them a photocopy. I debated, was it worth it, do I need to, etc, and figured why the hell not? So At almost the last second I take another photocopy (mind you I had also been REALLY busy between la Semaine Européenne and papers and whatnot) and they ok'd it.
April: After almost a MONTH, I get a letter, FINALLY saying you're eligible BUT we need your birth certificate and SSN. Ok, SSN is nothing, but birth certificate? Let's just say right now, it's easier for Obama to prove his birthplace than it is for me. Because of all the moving of the last year, I have NO idea where mine is. It may be lost, or it may not be, I don't know. And to get a new one is $10. Oh and I wasn't born in Fort Wayne, I was born in Indianapolis. So yeah, that makes it even MORE fun.
So I go in today to see about it, they said no big deal, that it's not THAT important since I had my SSN and SS card. Thank GOD! So this month I get money for April and May I get 94€ ($138 thereabout) and June I get 47€. Not a lot, but after having to buy this comp, it helps BIG TIME!!!
So I spurged on Subway for lunch lol
OH! And since I'm here I may as well write about the Royal Wedding today. I have to admit, I thought t was adorable they got married on St. Catherine's feast day. I bet they planned it but still I love it! The wedding was so pretty, and everyone looked fantastic, and I even got home from CAF just in time to see them kiss! It made me so happy!!! Weddings in general do, and seeing them so happy and so in love was just great. When she finally got walked down the aisle and they stood at the altar together, you could see it all over their faces how much they love each other. It was such a great way to wake up and start the day!
Anyway, that's all for now. I wanted to share my little bit of news before I go find something else to do!
Monday, April 25, 2011
Douche bags, Totally Minnie, et un nouvel ordi
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| The beloved Ghetto Rig |
I had to take it by Darty (thank god this time I at least knew where to go) and saw if they could do anything. The guy tinkered with it, and said there was nothing he could do. The hard drive finally bit the dust.
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| Nouvel Ordi |
This week of break I have completely succeeded at finding the Totally Minnie special I watched religiously as a kid. I think I nearly wore the tape out that my mom had recorded it on when I was 4. It was nice seeing it again. Totally hoaky, totally 80's, but still adorable as hell! It was fun watching it for probably the first time in 20 years. XD Infatuations start young I'm telling you...
But anyway, onto the meat and potatoes of what I have to say.
I've had my fair share of experiences with jerks since getting here. Definitely a huge let down, as I think most American girls have this image in their head about what European guys are, and it's definitely better than your average American guy. And I have to say this: looks wise, your average Euro guy is just...WOW! Always well dressed, well groomed, and usually pretty good looking anyway. And no, they're probably not gay. Some are, but most aren't, so it's totally ok to look and drool while you're on the tram. haha!
Exhibit A:
So now that I am done praising physical appearances, all I have to say now is Euro guys are great, until they try to talk to you. Well, at least French guys. Save for the one drunk German Sibylle and I encountered, Germans are pretty rad. No comments from the peanut gallery on that one, s'il te plaît. I've had more MORONS try to hook up with me, get my phone number, ask me out, and on and on and on and on. Several idiots have tried to pick me up while I waited on the tram, a Georgian (the country, not the state) told me I was "the most beautiful American" he'd ever seen, after walking RIGHT UP next to me when I wasn't paying attention (creepy much?), I've heard twice "Hey you know who this guy is, right?" from guys trying to pick me up for their friends (I hope to God one set was drunk...they easily had 15 - 20 years on me), one guy who was lame enough to sign his name Fran6 (Francis...end of the name in French sounds like the pronunciation for 6) hit on me AND Melinda (oh how that still makes me laugh...gotta give him credit though he had a way with words), I've been ask "Mais, tu as envie de fair l'amour avec un français avant que tu rentres aux USA?" (But don't you want to make love with a French guy before you go back to the US?), I was picked up in the IMMIGRATION OFFICE of all places, been asked if I wanna fuck some guy after hanging out with a friend after a movie (we were both propositioned...in very BAD English might I add) I mean I've heard it ALL. And are they the well - dressed, courteous, good - looking French guys? No of course not. Because, you know, they're all taken, or have other priorities in life besides dating (which good for them, shows they have a good head on their shoulders). I mean not that it'd work anyway because, you know, in June I'm going home to Brandon, but that's beside the point. Point is, it's RIDICULOUS. Definitely not what I expected. I figured French guys would at least have a little more respect for women. I mean...it's France. Land of wine, romance, and culture. Hello, really want to seduce a girl, those are the three things you need. And no, not wine to get her drunk, but to show you're more sophisticated than the cheap beer guzzling rednecks I'm accustomed to trying to say something. Romance and culture go without saying any more.
The last 2 weeks, it's been absolutely insane. We're talking I've almost felt violated and one instance almost went to the Police.
The police one was just...disgusting. There was a moron who bugged me right around Christmas for a few days, but he was just annoying. Eventually I convinced him to shut up and leave me alone. And good to his word, not a peep since then. Well, I get a text a few weeks ago from some random number. I figured they just had a wrong number, bid them good day, think nothing of it. Few days later, I get another random text from the same number asking me if I'm a guy or a girl. I go on the defensive immediately (not to mention EVERYTHING he wrote was in slang...oh my god ANNOYING). I'm asking where they got the number, never actually said straight up I was a woman, but you could tell, and said to leave me alone.
His reply?
Send me a pic of...and I'll leave you alone.
THAT set me off. I swore in as many ways as I could think of in French and English, demanded he left me alone, I didn't want to talk, he needed to go away, I even suggested finding porn on the internet if he was so desperate.
Reply?
My comp is fucked up.
Me: Not my problem. Caisse - toi (fuck off)
THEN it gets even better. He tells me he's a lesbian and that it shouldn't bother me because we're both women so what's the big deal if I send a pic?
Yes, because that makes me want to send something like that...
By this point I'm texting French friends for advice, and if I can take this to the police, and if they consider it harassment. I was that fed up with this crap. And I finally told the loser if he didn't stop I would go to the police, and I would file a complaint since I had all the messages, and his phone number. Come to find out, it's a friend of the idiot from before Christmas. But now i have names and phone numbers so if anything happens again...there's a police station about 5 minutes from me.
So I calm down from that, and a few days later, I walk to Kehl with Melinda and Véronique, and whaddya know, as I'm waiting at Esplanade to meet Melinda and Véro, 2 guys use the "hey you know who he is right? he's a famous football player!" thing. Oh gee...
I won't elaborate, except Melinda and Véro showed up just in the nick of time and saved me from these assheads.
Fast forward to Friday. Oh this gets great.
I walked to the CAF office to wonder what the fuck the hold up is on me getting any assistance (I've been at this since December...partially my fault, but they've been a pain in the ass too). I didn't realize it was Good Friday, and EVERYTHING was closed. Oops, oh well, the office isn't far from me so it's not like I wasted a tram ticket or anything. I walked home, headed into my building, no big.
Half way up to the first floor, some idiot is following me trying to get my attention (I have my headphones in so I heard nothing). I finally noticed him and am looking at him like WTF do you want? His question? Do I have a cigarette? Oh my god, I wanted to smack him. I answer no. Then it's the normal spiel of questions: You live here? (no I just have a key because the administration thought it'd be funny to see if anyone asks that very question so they gave me one to see what would happen) You're a student? (no, I just like to make people THINK I am) What are you doing? Do you have time to chat?
Of course by the time he's asking if I can talk I'm so mad I didn't quite get the question. So I answered with "peut-être" (maybe). Still being standoffish mind you but he took it as a yes. So guess who invites himself to my room.
That pissed me off. So I'm walking to my room very angrily, he's trying to start conversation with me and I'm going oh yeah uh huh sure, and as we get to my room, I barely open the door wide enough to get myself in, and slam it and lock it in dipshit's face.
I swear, I've had some adventures with French men.
Anyway I had more I wanted to say but as this is already long enough. I'll add the other entry another time.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Dreamworld, I'm Alive, Silence
So today was pretty good. Actually, this week has been really good. It's definitely springtime here now, with amazing sunny weather, blue skies, and a WONDERFUL lack of homework or papers. Sure I have exams to review for, but really, I'm to a point where I just want to do that once break is over. I might review some over break, since I don't have any major plans other than a possible day trip to Offenburg, Germany (a town maybe half an hour from here or so. I know by train it's like 15 minutes). But anyway before I ramble too much...
Melinda texted me in the middle of the afternoon, asking if I wanted to come hang with her at l'Orangerie. Now, I hadn't been to l'Orangerie yet (a park that was built back in the day by Napoléon for his first wife, Josephine, yet she never visited the park) and I was looking for an excuse to leave the house anyway. I was going to make the trip to Kehl and stock up on some necessities, but once Mellinda got a hold of me, I figured I could grab the things I REALLY needed here in Stras (the rest is eventual needs, and I can get later) and meet her there. I even offered to pick up some food for a mini picnic, and took a blanket too. Thanks mom for drilling the "Girl Scout Motto" in my head as a kid. ;)
And speaking of, we saw a troop of French Girl Scouts hiking through the park, decked out in their uniforms. Major awwww moment for me, as I remembered doing the same thing as a kid. My mom was a Girl Scout, so naturally she stuck me in it when I was a kid, and honestly, I am glad she did. It wasn't always my favorite thing to do, but I have some fond memories of it, and it was definitely something we got to share before she passed. It made me really wish she was still alive, but for once, definitely not in a sad way. It was kinda happy, actually. And as Monday was the 11 year anniversary (I was going to jump on here and blog about it, but changed my mind. That story is tucked in my actual journal), it was actually a nice change to think about her and smile, instead of bawl my eyes out and freeze half to death (which is what happened Monday).
We had a wonderful time today though, just sitting in the sun and talking, and watching the Cigognes fly around. Yep, we even heard the mating call, and saw a little Stork Lovin' going on too. Hahaha! There was one that flew over us too with a stick in her mouth for her nest. Very cool, indeed. And it was the first time I actually SAW a Cigogne (which...well would be like living in Indiana, and not seeing a Cardinal. Just doesn't happen/that's our state bird). After the way it transpired, I had to joke with Melinda that we were REAL Alsatians now, not only having seen the regional bird, but seen the regional bird try to keep the population levels up. Hahaha!
But anyway, we talked about how we couldn't believe it was already April, and how it just seems that time is flying so fast. It really is. Blink, and March is gone. It's already been 2 weeks since the last concert and after next week we're on Easter Break til the beginning of May. May is finals, then June I'm hanging out, and the end of the month I'm headed back stateside. What? You mean to tell me this adventure is winding down? Insanity! It can't be! I feel like I just got here! I feel like I have so much more I need to do, and see, and feel, and experience, and learn, and...and...and...
Well anyway, point is, I wish I could freeze time to this point of my life. Yeah I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way, but it's true. I've had such a wonderful time here. I mean, it's had its struggles and drama, but that's a given; that's just life. I know in the moment I was a pretty big baby, but looking at it with some time between me and the bad situations, it's all been a learning experience. And then stepping even further away from that and looking I've realized, for the first time in my life, my life has been GOOD. I've been able to start clearing out the crap. No, debts aren't paid or anything like that, but I'm not talking about that crap. I'm talking about my own messes. I've been able to push myself away from the crap, and start actually growing up, and learning, and seeing what's really there. Life's been beautiful, for the first time. I mean, life has seriously been really good. Not without challenges but they're...normal...challenges. You know, managing money, weighing necessity versus pleasure, just stuff you always have to think about. That's life haha! It sucks, because I want to just jump on a train every weekend, and go see this that and the other place, and I can't. Ah well, there are worse problems, right?
It's just been...it's been nice to finally experience the nicer side of life for once. Not even just the nice side of life, but to feel ALIVE. That's what was missing before. I didn't feel alive. I didn't feel like I was living the life I have, even though I so desperately wanted to. Fort Wayne, and everything there, was killing me, slowly. I needed to get out, and get away. I needed to remove myself from all that, and finally see something else. And not just see another country, though anyone who knows me knows how desperately I wanted to, but I've seen other things that are just deeper than seeing a Gothic cathedral, or street signs printed in another language. This is about seeing LIFE; seeing things we need to see as human beings. The good, the bad, and the ugly. The up, the down, the in, and the out.
That video, the song, I think sums up exactly how I feel about this whole adventure. "I'm Alive" by Zoo Army. Yes I'm still on my Gil Ofarim kick, but honestly, the more and more I listen to his music, the more and more it ends up not just being a cute German musician to obsess over, but a soundtrack. So many of his songs--English and German--have become something I can identify with. Being away from home, feeling alone, cutting yourself out of the trap your life's put you in to move to bigger and better things, feeling that burning adoration for someone else, that withstands distance and separation in hopes of reuniting to create a life together and having a "home," solitude and time healing wounds and teaching important lessons, being able to stand on your own, and not needing anyone else to be that for you...it seems all the major things I've learned and dealt with since leaving have been described in his music. And sometimes, it's a comfort to know that someone else out there "gets it."
Has it been a challenge? You better believe it has been. It's not been without it's fighting and crying and screaming and bitching and moaning. But the thing is, all the struggles have actually ended. By that I mean, I go through them, but there's actually a resolve in the end. I honestly haven't ever had that before; it just always seemed like suffering for the sake of suffering before. Yeah, I know, it could've been a lot worse and all that. And, it's been hard letting go (mentally and emotionally) of the things in my past, but had I not left home like I had, I don't know if I ever would've managed even an attempt at it.
The sad part is though, I have to go back. I've known I'd have to go back, as soon as I left. I guess there's that much, but even if that's true, the idea of going back is still a hard idea to swallow. I'm sure I'll figure it out. Hell, I figured out how to manage myself in 2 foreign countries, if I can do that, I'm sure I can manage myself in a town I've lived in for 22 years. But I don't want to go there. The point of all this rambling is to be happy and looking on the bright side of everything. Every rose has its thorns, but I don't want to focus on the thorns too much. Point is, I've finally been able to look at the rose AND the thorns, and actually see how pretty the rose is, despite the fact it can potentially hurt you. Just be smart about it, and try to dodge the thorns, but if you get stuck anyway, find the way to mend the wound and let it heal, and in due time, it'll be all right.
Melinda texted me in the middle of the afternoon, asking if I wanted to come hang with her at l'Orangerie. Now, I hadn't been to l'Orangerie yet (a park that was built back in the day by Napoléon for his first wife, Josephine, yet she never visited the park) and I was looking for an excuse to leave the house anyway. I was going to make the trip to Kehl and stock up on some necessities, but once Mellinda got a hold of me, I figured I could grab the things I REALLY needed here in Stras (the rest is eventual needs, and I can get later) and meet her there. I even offered to pick up some food for a mini picnic, and took a blanket too. Thanks mom for drilling the "Girl Scout Motto" in my head as a kid. ;)
And speaking of, we saw a troop of French Girl Scouts hiking through the park, decked out in their uniforms. Major awwww moment for me, as I remembered doing the same thing as a kid. My mom was a Girl Scout, so naturally she stuck me in it when I was a kid, and honestly, I am glad she did. It wasn't always my favorite thing to do, but I have some fond memories of it, and it was definitely something we got to share before she passed. It made me really wish she was still alive, but for once, definitely not in a sad way. It was kinda happy, actually. And as Monday was the 11 year anniversary (I was going to jump on here and blog about it, but changed my mind. That story is tucked in my actual journal), it was actually a nice change to think about her and smile, instead of bawl my eyes out and freeze half to death (which is what happened Monday).
We had a wonderful time today though, just sitting in the sun and talking, and watching the Cigognes fly around. Yep, we even heard the mating call, and saw a little Stork Lovin' going on too. Hahaha! There was one that flew over us too with a stick in her mouth for her nest. Very cool, indeed. And it was the first time I actually SAW a Cigogne (which...well would be like living in Indiana, and not seeing a Cardinal. Just doesn't happen/that's our state bird). After the way it transpired, I had to joke with Melinda that we were REAL Alsatians now, not only having seen the regional bird, but seen the regional bird try to keep the population levels up. Hahaha!
But anyway, we talked about how we couldn't believe it was already April, and how it just seems that time is flying so fast. It really is. Blink, and March is gone. It's already been 2 weeks since the last concert and after next week we're on Easter Break til the beginning of May. May is finals, then June I'm hanging out, and the end of the month I'm headed back stateside. What? You mean to tell me this adventure is winding down? Insanity! It can't be! I feel like I just got here! I feel like I have so much more I need to do, and see, and feel, and experience, and learn, and...and...and...
Well anyway, point is, I wish I could freeze time to this point of my life. Yeah I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way, but it's true. I've had such a wonderful time here. I mean, it's had its struggles and drama, but that's a given; that's just life. I know in the moment I was a pretty big baby, but looking at it with some time between me and the bad situations, it's all been a learning experience. And then stepping even further away from that and looking I've realized, for the first time in my life, my life has been GOOD. I've been able to start clearing out the crap. No, debts aren't paid or anything like that, but I'm not talking about that crap. I'm talking about my own messes. I've been able to push myself away from the crap, and start actually growing up, and learning, and seeing what's really there. Life's been beautiful, for the first time. I mean, life has seriously been really good. Not without challenges but they're...normal...challenges. You know, managing money, weighing necessity versus pleasure, just stuff you always have to think about. That's life haha! It sucks, because I want to just jump on a train every weekend, and go see this that and the other place, and I can't. Ah well, there are worse problems, right?
It's just been...it's been nice to finally experience the nicer side of life for once. Not even just the nice side of life, but to feel ALIVE. That's what was missing before. I didn't feel alive. I didn't feel like I was living the life I have, even though I so desperately wanted to. Fort Wayne, and everything there, was killing me, slowly. I needed to get out, and get away. I needed to remove myself from all that, and finally see something else. And not just see another country, though anyone who knows me knows how desperately I wanted to, but I've seen other things that are just deeper than seeing a Gothic cathedral, or street signs printed in another language. This is about seeing LIFE; seeing things we need to see as human beings. The good, the bad, and the ugly. The up, the down, the in, and the out.
That video, the song, I think sums up exactly how I feel about this whole adventure. "I'm Alive" by Zoo Army. Yes I'm still on my Gil Ofarim kick, but honestly, the more and more I listen to his music, the more and more it ends up not just being a cute German musician to obsess over, but a soundtrack. So many of his songs--English and German--have become something I can identify with. Being away from home, feeling alone, cutting yourself out of the trap your life's put you in to move to bigger and better things, feeling that burning adoration for someone else, that withstands distance and separation in hopes of reuniting to create a life together and having a "home," solitude and time healing wounds and teaching important lessons, being able to stand on your own, and not needing anyone else to be that for you...it seems all the major things I've learned and dealt with since leaving have been described in his music. And sometimes, it's a comfort to know that someone else out there "gets it."
Has it been a challenge? You better believe it has been. It's not been without it's fighting and crying and screaming and bitching and moaning. But the thing is, all the struggles have actually ended. By that I mean, I go through them, but there's actually a resolve in the end. I honestly haven't ever had that before; it just always seemed like suffering for the sake of suffering before. Yeah, I know, it could've been a lot worse and all that. And, it's been hard letting go (mentally and emotionally) of the things in my past, but had I not left home like I had, I don't know if I ever would've managed even an attempt at it.
The sad part is though, I have to go back. I've known I'd have to go back, as soon as I left. I guess there's that much, but even if that's true, the idea of going back is still a hard idea to swallow. I'm sure I'll figure it out. Hell, I figured out how to manage myself in 2 foreign countries, if I can do that, I'm sure I can manage myself in a town I've lived in for 22 years. But I don't want to go there. The point of all this rambling is to be happy and looking on the bright side of everything. Every rose has its thorns, but I don't want to focus on the thorns too much. Point is, I've finally been able to look at the rose AND the thorns, and actually see how pretty the rose is, despite the fact it can potentially hurt you. Just be smart about it, and try to dodge the thorns, but if you get stuck anyway, find the way to mend the wound and let it heal, and in due time, it'll be all right.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Stuttgart, noch einmal!
So yep, I went to Stuttgart again last weekend and I have to say...
I HAD A BLAST!!!!!
It was very well worth the money spent, even though I have to REALLY be careful with money now. Haha!
So here's my story of Stuttgart: Zweiten Mal
First off, my friend Cari from back home was here in Stras with some of her friends she met in Aix. I showed them around Thursday, and we had decided Saturday we wanted to do a day trip in Kehl. Great, because I didn't leave for Stuttgart til about 3 in the afternoon, and I left from the Kehl train station (because SNCF charged 30 euros more to leave from Stras. LAME!). It was a BEAUTIFUL morning outside, and we got to Kehl a little before noon, so we got lunch at a little burger joint there, then started poking around the town.
There's a huge tower at the park on the Rhine (I don't remember the German name, but in French it's 'Le Jardin des Deux Rives"), and we decided to climb it and the view from there is MAGNIFICENT! The way we were facing if you looked to the left, there was Stras, and the Cathedral on the Horizon, and then to the right was Kehl, and the Black Forest on the horizon that way. It was truly fascinating!
We went to some of the churches there too. I'd never been in them, but with Friedekirche right on the town square, I see it often, and then I've hung out in the garden at St. Nepomuk's a few times. But going in was cool. Friedekirche wasn't anything unusual...cute. quaint, and very peaceful. St. Nepomuk's was SO beautiful though! It had a kind of beauty I don't know if I can describe it. It was cute and pretty, like a talented grade school artist's work, but it was also much deeper than that. It also had scenes of the Crucifixion all around the sanctuary, which reminded me of the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception back in Fort Wayne.
We just kind of poked around town after that, and finally headed back to the train station. I didn't leave Kehl til a little after 3, so I just hung out at my platform, reading The Vampire Lestat that my friend Sibylle lent me (as much as I love reading, I swear it's hard to have the time to actually DO it. I've had this book for AGES).
Train ride there was painless, thankfully. Same route as before. Get to Stuttgart, get on the UBahn, get to the hostel. Same place I stayed at before, so it wasn't like before where I was running around wondering what the hell. Haha, well I KIND of did, but I'm pretty good at remembering surroundings, so I found my way easily enough.
I basically had to book it to the show right after I got my stuff put away. My hostel was in the center of town, the show was on the east side of Stuttgart, and from the looks of the map at the Ubahn stations, almost in the suburbs. Not that it was off putting or anything, but it was a way away.
I had a little mishap trying to get in. I printed the wrong thing off for my ticket, but what I printed off proved I DID pay for one, so they let me in anyway. Scared the hell out of me for about a minute. But I got in, and got a spot. I had a shit spot, compared to where I was the first time I saw them, but I could deal with it. They only did about 5 songs, as they were the openers, but oh my god they fucking ROCKED! I've seen very few performers who throw themselves into their music like that. Not saying not many do, but not many that I've seen had.
So after them it was the Alex Mack Band (aka former singer of The Calling). and since I wasn't really there to see them, I made my way to the back of the venue (which was WAY WAY WAY bigger than where I saw Acht the first time), and found the merch boothes. Bought myself a T-shirt, and wanted to buy a bit more in the way of "fun" things but decided otherwise.
I just hung out and kind of listened at that point. AMB was pretty good, but like I said, I wasn't there for them, so I didn't pay that much attention. I was waiting around to meet Acht at that point. Haha! And I did.
Now, if you know me, you know this is where the dramatic build up starts in my storytelling. If you didn't know that, well you're about to find out.
At this point, I was getting a bit overheated, and needed some air. It got cloudy and rained during the day, so it had cooled off considerably outside. So I waited, got some air, cooled off, felt better, went back in.
As soon as I walked back in you can take a wild guess just who I happened to lay eyes on. Yep, Gil Ofarim was over by the merch booths, talking and just hanging out.
Think back to 7th grade, and it's the last dance of the year, and you're finally going to ask the object of your affections to said dance. As soon as you lay eyes on them, long before they look at you, or even notice you're there, your heart starts racing, knees start shaking, and you can already feel that you're going to be falling and stumbling over your words BIG TIME (now through in being in a country where you speak the language, but only so well). That's exactly how I felt, and I had to get the guts to forget a possible language barrier, forget my nerves, forget all the stupid negatives, and do this. I waited on this for years and years, and never honestly thought I'd have the chance to see him perform, nevertheless be able to meet him. I could barely contain my excitement.
So I end up going over to him, hand him my CD, very NERVOUSLY in very SHAKY German ask if we can speak in English (haha fail) and he was totally cool and did (and I was actually impressed. I figured he spoke well anyway, but other than singing I'd only ever heard him use German). He remembered the letter I wrote him back in October about the first concert in Stuttgart, which I was completely flattered that he remembered who I was, and as soon as I said "Yeah that was me," He reached out and gave me a hug. AWWWW! (#1 haha!) We talked for a few minutes, he asked if I understood what was being said in the songs and all, and I said I did, and we talked and he signed my CD, and gave me another hug (#2). I went to get a picture with him too, using my phone as my regular camera died (it was old anyway lol), and I got one, but it wasn't that good, so he's talking to the girl who worked with them, and had her get another picture for me on her camera, which I'm waiting on that one to be sent to me. He kept his arm around me too while asking, which definitely made me smile even more. Hahaha! I'm such a fangirl. Anyway, after that, he gave me another hug (#3), and I probably thanked him a million times over and he of course does the "No, thank you," and that hug ended up being pretty awesome too. :D Like I said: fangirl! Hahahaha! But, I at least recognize that fact about myself.
He was seriously super nice though. I was honestly impressed, and it really just...made everything. You know how sometimes you have these ideals of meeting someone, and you do and it's just...not what you expected? Maybe they were dicks? Or whatever. No, that totally didn't happen. He was just so cool and so lovely and...ok honestly it had me wondering why the HELL he doesn't have a girlfriend (come on...when a guy answers a question about having a significant other, famous or not, with "Well, I have my dog" they're not dating anyone. See the above video. Even if you don't know German, you'll know the part I mean when you see it). It was so awesome FINALLY meeting him though, and it really being everything I had ever hoped.
Oh Melinda, if you read this, Brain Sex is safe and sound in my goofy little memory. You lucked out. Nerves worked in your favor. ;)
Meeting the band overall was really cool. Andy, their drummer, was just hanging out after I talked to Gil, so I got his autograph, and he just had that whole cool drummer vibe going. I even noticed it in videos and whatever, and it reminds me so much of some of the guys I used to play with. I saw Oswin (lead guitar) and Konti (bass) out there too but they were talking to people, and come on, I'm not THAT rude...geesh. ;) But after a while I managed to get Oswin's autograph too, and then Konti's...which that ended up being another cute little story. ;)
After Konti signed it, Oswin went to grab my CD, one of those out of habit actions. No big deal. I didn't say anything, I guess because I didn't want to come off as a snob or something, so Oswin looked at it for a second, realized he signed it, looked at me, looked at the CD, looked at me, and then as follows:
Him: Wer hat dass gemacht? (Who did that?)
Me: Uhhhh...ich weiss nicht? *laugh* (I don't know)
He smiled and laughed, and handed me my CD back. I thanked them all profusely, and then headed out to get back to my hostel (which was quite the ordeal in and of itself. SSB, the Stuttgart transport system actually checks if you have a ticket, where as here in Stras I think I've seen the controllers once or maybe twice).
Oh and here begins the next bit of drama.
So it switched to Daylight Savings on Sunday. Whatever. I figured my phone would reset automatically. The phones I've had in the US did, so whatever.
hahahahahaha!
I had to set it to change, and didn't know that. So um, I THINK i'm getting up at 6:30 to catch a train a little after 9. Wanted to have time to get dressed, get there, ya know, BE ON TIME. I mean I was last time, but freaking DB canceled about a million trains last second. So just in case, I went early again.
Well, first, I misread the map at the UBahn (this is before I realize I'm an hour behind mind you). Dammit. I got on the wrong train. Well, I looked at the map, and if i had gone ONE stop further, I could buy another ticket, save 50 cents, and get to the trainstation. I go to execute this plan and...
There are people watching the trains...ON SUNDAY MORNING! WTF!
So I had to buy the ticket there and figure it out.
Oh and it was raining that morning. So here I am at Charlottenplatz (fortunately I wasn't THAT lost. I had been there before the first time I saw Acht), standing there, in the rain, wondering if i can figure out the way to walk to the trainstation, or should I try and catch the UBahn since I DID buy the ticket. I decide on the UBahn, since I'd already spent the money. Thank God as soon as I got back to the station (the station at Charlottenplatz is underground) a train headed to the trainstation was getting ready to leave. So I ran for it, got on, and left.
So I make it to the trainstation...
Get a doughnut and a coffee, look for a place to sit and relax and eat it before going to wait for my train. Well the cafe I chose didn't have seats, so I was like eh it's cold but I'll go wait at my platform.
Well, my train was sitting there, waiting to go. I look at the clocks. 9:05. But my phone said 8:05! Shit....
Well my train didn't leave til 9:18 so I was ok still, just hopped on, found a seat got comfy, ate my food, drank my coffee, wrote in my journal, and started reading again after a while.
Now, my route home was a bit different. No missed trains this time, but instead of Stuttgart-Karlsruhe-Offenburg-Kehl, it was Stuttgart-Freudenstadt-Offenburg-Kehl. Now, I couldn't tell you the first thing about Freudenstadt, BUT the train ride went RIGHT through the Black Forest. And it was still early enough the sun was rising, and shining over the mountains and through the trees, and some points the mountains were misting, and there were old little fortresess and churches on the sides of the hills and...oh...it was just a BEAUTIFUL ride back home. Granted, by the time I got back to Kehl I was ready to get off the train and stretch my legs, but it was still such a pretty ride home.
I was whooped by the time I got back to Stras. I needed sleep...BADLY! haha! But that's ok. I slept plenty on Sunday...the afternoon and that night.
So this week has been coming down off of Cloud 9 and back to reality. *sighs* No fun! hahaha! But the weekend was wonderful. Expensive, but wonderful. ;) Very well worth every penny I spent on it. I got to do something I NEVER thought i'd have the chance to do, and I made some AMAZING memories this weekend.
Anyway, I'd better get going. I need to get to bed here soon.
<3Erika
I HAD A BLAST!!!!!
It was very well worth the money spent, even though I have to REALLY be careful with money now. Haha!
So here's my story of Stuttgart: Zweiten Mal
First off, my friend Cari from back home was here in Stras with some of her friends she met in Aix. I showed them around Thursday, and we had decided Saturday we wanted to do a day trip in Kehl. Great, because I didn't leave for Stuttgart til about 3 in the afternoon, and I left from the Kehl train station (because SNCF charged 30 euros more to leave from Stras. LAME!). It was a BEAUTIFUL morning outside, and we got to Kehl a little before noon, so we got lunch at a little burger joint there, then started poking around the town.
There's a huge tower at the park on the Rhine (I don't remember the German name, but in French it's 'Le Jardin des Deux Rives"), and we decided to climb it and the view from there is MAGNIFICENT! The way we were facing if you looked to the left, there was Stras, and the Cathedral on the Horizon, and then to the right was Kehl, and the Black Forest on the horizon that way. It was truly fascinating!
We went to some of the churches there too. I'd never been in them, but with Friedekirche right on the town square, I see it often, and then I've hung out in the garden at St. Nepomuk's a few times. But going in was cool. Friedekirche wasn't anything unusual...cute. quaint, and very peaceful. St. Nepomuk's was SO beautiful though! It had a kind of beauty I don't know if I can describe it. It was cute and pretty, like a talented grade school artist's work, but it was also much deeper than that. It also had scenes of the Crucifixion all around the sanctuary, which reminded me of the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception back in Fort Wayne.
We just kind of poked around town after that, and finally headed back to the train station. I didn't leave Kehl til a little after 3, so I just hung out at my platform, reading The Vampire Lestat that my friend Sibylle lent me (as much as I love reading, I swear it's hard to have the time to actually DO it. I've had this book for AGES).
Train ride there was painless, thankfully. Same route as before. Get to Stuttgart, get on the UBahn, get to the hostel. Same place I stayed at before, so it wasn't like before where I was running around wondering what the hell. Haha, well I KIND of did, but I'm pretty good at remembering surroundings, so I found my way easily enough.
I basically had to book it to the show right after I got my stuff put away. My hostel was in the center of town, the show was on the east side of Stuttgart, and from the looks of the map at the Ubahn stations, almost in the suburbs. Not that it was off putting or anything, but it was a way away.
I had a little mishap trying to get in. I printed the wrong thing off for my ticket, but what I printed off proved I DID pay for one, so they let me in anyway. Scared the hell out of me for about a minute. But I got in, and got a spot. I had a shit spot, compared to where I was the first time I saw them, but I could deal with it. They only did about 5 songs, as they were the openers, but oh my god they fucking ROCKED! I've seen very few performers who throw themselves into their music like that. Not saying not many do, but not many that I've seen had.
 |
| The Back says "Stell Dir Vor" |
I just hung out and kind of listened at that point. AMB was pretty good, but like I said, I wasn't there for them, so I didn't pay that much attention. I was waiting around to meet Acht at that point. Haha! And I did.
Now, if you know me, you know this is where the dramatic build up starts in my storytelling. If you didn't know that, well you're about to find out.
At this point, I was getting a bit overheated, and needed some air. It got cloudy and rained during the day, so it had cooled off considerably outside. So I waited, got some air, cooled off, felt better, went back in.
As soon as I walked back in you can take a wild guess just who I happened to lay eyes on. Yep, Gil Ofarim was over by the merch booths, talking and just hanging out.
Think back to 7th grade, and it's the last dance of the year, and you're finally going to ask the object of your affections to said dance. As soon as you lay eyes on them, long before they look at you, or even notice you're there, your heart starts racing, knees start shaking, and you can already feel that you're going to be falling and stumbling over your words BIG TIME (now through in being in a country where you speak the language, but only so well). That's exactly how I felt, and I had to get the guts to forget a possible language barrier, forget my nerves, forget all the stupid negatives, and do this. I waited on this for years and years, and never honestly thought I'd have the chance to see him perform, nevertheless be able to meet him. I could barely contain my excitement.
So I end up going over to him, hand him my CD, very NERVOUSLY in very SHAKY German ask if we can speak in English (haha fail) and he was totally cool and did (and I was actually impressed. I figured he spoke well anyway, but other than singing I'd only ever heard him use German). He remembered the letter I wrote him back in October about the first concert in Stuttgart, which I was completely flattered that he remembered who I was, and as soon as I said "Yeah that was me," He reached out and gave me a hug. AWWWW! (#1 haha!) We talked for a few minutes, he asked if I understood what was being said in the songs and all, and I said I did, and we talked and he signed my CD, and gave me another hug (#2). I went to get a picture with him too, using my phone as my regular camera died (it was old anyway lol), and I got one, but it wasn't that good, so he's talking to the girl who worked with them, and had her get another picture for me on her camera, which I'm waiting on that one to be sent to me. He kept his arm around me too while asking, which definitely made me smile even more. Hahaha! I'm such a fangirl. Anyway, after that, he gave me another hug (#3), and I probably thanked him a million times over and he of course does the "No, thank you," and that hug ended up being pretty awesome too. :D Like I said: fangirl! Hahahaha! But, I at least recognize that fact about myself.
He was seriously super nice though. I was honestly impressed, and it really just...made everything. You know how sometimes you have these ideals of meeting someone, and you do and it's just...not what you expected? Maybe they were dicks? Or whatever. No, that totally didn't happen. He was just so cool and so lovely and...ok honestly it had me wondering why the HELL he doesn't have a girlfriend (come on...when a guy answers a question about having a significant other, famous or not, with "Well, I have my dog" they're not dating anyone. See the above video. Even if you don't know German, you'll know the part I mean when you see it). It was so awesome FINALLY meeting him though, and it really being everything I had ever hoped.
Oh Melinda, if you read this, Brain Sex is safe and sound in my goofy little memory. You lucked out. Nerves worked in your favor. ;)
After Konti signed it, Oswin went to grab my CD, one of those out of habit actions. No big deal. I didn't say anything, I guess because I didn't want to come off as a snob or something, so Oswin looked at it for a second, realized he signed it, looked at me, looked at the CD, looked at me, and then as follows:
Him: Wer hat dass gemacht? (Who did that?)
Me: Uhhhh...ich weiss nicht? *laugh* (I don't know)
He smiled and laughed, and handed me my CD back. I thanked them all profusely, and then headed out to get back to my hostel (which was quite the ordeal in and of itself. SSB, the Stuttgart transport system actually checks if you have a ticket, where as here in Stras I think I've seen the controllers once or maybe twice).
Oh and here begins the next bit of drama.
So it switched to Daylight Savings on Sunday. Whatever. I figured my phone would reset automatically. The phones I've had in the US did, so whatever.
hahahahahaha!
I had to set it to change, and didn't know that. So um, I THINK i'm getting up at 6:30 to catch a train a little after 9. Wanted to have time to get dressed, get there, ya know, BE ON TIME. I mean I was last time, but freaking DB canceled about a million trains last second. So just in case, I went early again.
Well, first, I misread the map at the UBahn (this is before I realize I'm an hour behind mind you). Dammit. I got on the wrong train. Well, I looked at the map, and if i had gone ONE stop further, I could buy another ticket, save 50 cents, and get to the trainstation. I go to execute this plan and...
There are people watching the trains...ON SUNDAY MORNING! WTF!
So I had to buy the ticket there and figure it out.
Oh and it was raining that morning. So here I am at Charlottenplatz (fortunately I wasn't THAT lost. I had been there before the first time I saw Acht), standing there, in the rain, wondering if i can figure out the way to walk to the trainstation, or should I try and catch the UBahn since I DID buy the ticket. I decide on the UBahn, since I'd already spent the money. Thank God as soon as I got back to the station (the station at Charlottenplatz is underground) a train headed to the trainstation was getting ready to leave. So I ran for it, got on, and left.
So I make it to the trainstation...
Get a doughnut and a coffee, look for a place to sit and relax and eat it before going to wait for my train. Well the cafe I chose didn't have seats, so I was like eh it's cold but I'll go wait at my platform.
Well, my train was sitting there, waiting to go. I look at the clocks. 9:05. But my phone said 8:05! Shit....
Well my train didn't leave til 9:18 so I was ok still, just hopped on, found a seat got comfy, ate my food, drank my coffee, wrote in my journal, and started reading again after a while.
Now, my route home was a bit different. No missed trains this time, but instead of Stuttgart-Karlsruhe-Offenburg-Kehl, it was Stuttgart-Freudenstadt-Offenburg-Kehl. Now, I couldn't tell you the first thing about Freudenstadt, BUT the train ride went RIGHT through the Black Forest. And it was still early enough the sun was rising, and shining over the mountains and through the trees, and some points the mountains were misting, and there were old little fortresess and churches on the sides of the hills and...oh...it was just a BEAUTIFUL ride back home. Granted, by the time I got back to Kehl I was ready to get off the train and stretch my legs, but it was still such a pretty ride home.
I was whooped by the time I got back to Stras. I needed sleep...BADLY! haha! But that's ok. I slept plenty on Sunday...the afternoon and that night.
So this week has been coming down off of Cloud 9 and back to reality. *sighs* No fun! hahaha! But the weekend was wonderful. Expensive, but wonderful. ;) Very well worth every penny I spent on it. I got to do something I NEVER thought i'd have the chance to do, and I made some AMAZING memories this weekend.
Anyway, I'd better get going. I need to get to bed here soon.
<3Erika
Monday, March 21, 2011
Scared
So the last few weeks, I've had a lot on my mind, besides the normal worries of school, and trying not to beat myself up for throwing caution to the wind to go to Stuttgart again. Let's face it: I'm damn determined to meet Gil Ofarim, so I'm going to. LOL. I just have to behave myself from here til August (essentially). I've never been a good moneyhandler, so now that I've fallen on my ass once, let's see how I can figure to NOT do that again.
But anyway, that's not my main fear. It's up there, but the fears I'm thinking of are much more conceptual.
I'm scared of going home.
Now, that sounds weird, I know. It feels weird. And it's not this anti-America, boo patriotism thing. It really has little to do with it (there are things politically that frustrate me, for sure, but I don't want to go into that). It's more the ideas affiliated with going back home.
I'm scared of speaking English, and not having to translate almost everything I say/and or flip between languages. I'm scared of familiarity. I'm scared of the problems I have to go back to. I'm scared of not being able to make it at home. I'm scared of readjusting/reverse culture shock. I'm scared of having to deal with the crap I shrugged off 6 months ago, as my plane took off for Detroit.
I'm not just scared, I'm terrified.
I've been in France going on 7 months. A lot of good, and a lot of bad has happened. A lot of shit has happened, mainly being conned/lied to once again. I've screwed up financially/was taken advantage of, and borderlined starved. I've been lonely, angry, and felt abandoned. I've had to adjust to Euros, metric, French, German, and being the stranger.
But, I've met some wonderful friends here, had some inspiring moments, learned about myself as a person, been forced to grow up (finally), had to figure out things, learn things, have come to understand things, about life, history, political theory (I mean it is l'Institut des Etudes Politiques hahaha), culture, and so on. I've seen the good and the bad (or at least confusing) nuances of difference between my and a foreign culture. I've dyed my hair black, lost weight, and still love Disney Princesses. I've filled up my Adventure Book (if you've seen the movie, Up, you know what I mean). I've found out who my friends back home REALLY are, and I've discovered who the lying bitch is.
I never would've done any of this had I not come here.
That's why going home scares me so much. For the first time in my life, I'm alive. I'm real. I'm not just looking wistfully from the outside in, wanting to be a part, I AM what's happening. I am learning, living, seeing, experiencing, feeling, hurting, hoping, worrying, thinking, excited, bewildered, fascinated, bemused...the list of adjectives that I feel on a daily basis is enormous. I don't think I still can entirely understand it all.
This is the first time I've been able to feel this way. It's the first time I've been able to live my life this way, and live for myself, and influence my own destiny, and not have a tyrant or a liar trying to turn my future into what they want out of me, or using me to get what they want. I'm living for ME. And all that it entails.
And that's yet another reason going home scares me. It's going back to where all that bad is. it means facing it all again. Not even just facing it really, as much as, that's where it exists. All the bad--I mean REAL bad, not just bad days and minor frustrations--has happened. Everyone and everything I hate about life, is in Fort Wayne. That's not saying life is all bad, or being pessimistic, like i'm oh-so-very-good at doing, it just means that the bad parts of life are all concentrated in one area for me.
But I've known since I got here I HAVE to go back. I have to finish what I started. I have to see things out to the end. It sucks...it REALLY fucking sucks, but I have to do it. As my "little sister" Kim put it, "you've been on a long vacation, and you have to go back to reality eventually." One of those moments where, no matter how hard I fought...they're right.
Anyway, I need a nap. LOL. 4 and a half hours of sleep last night. I never sleep on Sunday.
But anyway, that's not my main fear. It's up there, but the fears I'm thinking of are much more conceptual.
I'm scared of going home.
Now, that sounds weird, I know. It feels weird. And it's not this anti-America, boo patriotism thing. It really has little to do with it (there are things politically that frustrate me, for sure, but I don't want to go into that). It's more the ideas affiliated with going back home.
I'm scared of speaking English, and not having to translate almost everything I say/and or flip between languages. I'm scared of familiarity. I'm scared of the problems I have to go back to. I'm scared of not being able to make it at home. I'm scared of readjusting/reverse culture shock. I'm scared of having to deal with the crap I shrugged off 6 months ago, as my plane took off for Detroit.
I'm not just scared, I'm terrified.
I've been in France going on 7 months. A lot of good, and a lot of bad has happened. A lot of shit has happened, mainly being conned/lied to once again. I've screwed up financially/was taken advantage of, and borderlined starved. I've been lonely, angry, and felt abandoned. I've had to adjust to Euros, metric, French, German, and being the stranger.
But, I've met some wonderful friends here, had some inspiring moments, learned about myself as a person, been forced to grow up (finally), had to figure out things, learn things, have come to understand things, about life, history, political theory (I mean it is l'Institut des Etudes Politiques hahaha), culture, and so on. I've seen the good and the bad (or at least confusing) nuances of difference between my and a foreign culture. I've dyed my hair black, lost weight, and still love Disney Princesses. I've filled up my Adventure Book (if you've seen the movie, Up, you know what I mean). I've found out who my friends back home REALLY are, and I've discovered who the lying bitch is.
I never would've done any of this had I not come here.
That's why going home scares me so much. For the first time in my life, I'm alive. I'm real. I'm not just looking wistfully from the outside in, wanting to be a part, I AM what's happening. I am learning, living, seeing, experiencing, feeling, hurting, hoping, worrying, thinking, excited, bewildered, fascinated, bemused...the list of adjectives that I feel on a daily basis is enormous. I don't think I still can entirely understand it all.
This is the first time I've been able to feel this way. It's the first time I've been able to live my life this way, and live for myself, and influence my own destiny, and not have a tyrant or a liar trying to turn my future into what they want out of me, or using me to get what they want. I'm living for ME. And all that it entails.
And that's yet another reason going home scares me. It's going back to where all that bad is. it means facing it all again. Not even just facing it really, as much as, that's where it exists. All the bad--I mean REAL bad, not just bad days and minor frustrations--has happened. Everyone and everything I hate about life, is in Fort Wayne. That's not saying life is all bad, or being pessimistic, like i'm oh-so-very-good at doing, it just means that the bad parts of life are all concentrated in one area for me.
But I've known since I got here I HAVE to go back. I have to finish what I started. I have to see things out to the end. It sucks...it REALLY fucking sucks, but I have to do it. As my "little sister" Kim put it, "you've been on a long vacation, and you have to go back to reality eventually." One of those moments where, no matter how hard I fought...they're right.
Anyway, I need a nap. LOL. 4 and a half hours of sleep last night. I never sleep on Sunday.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Stuttgart...again
So I've been back and forth about seeing Acht again this month. After the money crunch I had last semester, I'm REALLY scared of putting myself in that again. But, I sat down, checked my bank statement, did some math, or about how much I at least planned on spending a month (food, rent, phone bill, going out here and there), the cost of getting to Paris and checking a bag (estimates), and the approximate cost of going to Stuttgart again. Including all that, I'd have a decent chunk of money leftover at the end of June. Not a lot, but considering the conversion, and getting my 240 euro deposit back, it'd be enough to justify the cost of going.
Now, I've tried talking to some friends, getting different perspectives on it, because they know what happened, and they're all pretty level headed about these kinds of things. I trust their judgement for sure, and while they all had very good points, they were all different. Well, doesn't make it easier for me now, does it? XD But I give them all props for being logical and reasonable. Considering I tend NOT to be very reasonable...yeah. I think I'm getting better about it, but I tend to be impulsive, and not think long term. But this time I did, and I figure as long as I'm smart with my money between now and when I start booking everything back home, I SHOULD be ok. Really, I just have to watch how much eating out I do. Simple, eh? At least I HOPE. I get pretty lazy sometimes XD
Anyway, I digress (I'm good at that). After looking at my finances, I decided what the hell, I'm going. I was debating on Zurich, or Vienna, especially as I have a very good friend in Vienna, somehow the Eurolines tickets went from 39 euros to 95 euros. WHAT!? And I know a train ticket would cost even more, and I don't feel like going through customs at an airport, and not to mention it would cost as much as the other 2 alternatives. If I pay that much to go somewhere, I may as well stay there for a few days, ya know? I could justify 95 euros to Vienna, and stay a week with my friend there. But anyway, I digress AGAIN! (Told you I was good). Melinda said Zurich is expensive, in general, so I cut it out, and then the whole deal with getting to Vienna being expensive. So the 2 closest shows then to Stras were Mannheim and Stuttgart.
Now, one of my good friends at home is from Mannheim. He came Stateside when he was young, but his family is still there. So he's told me a bit about the town. And then Stuttgart, I have friends who've studied there, and I've been there, so I know a hostel I like, I know the city well enough I could get where i need to go, and voila. Train tickets were the same prices, concert tickets were the same prices, but I decided Stuttgart again, for the sake of logistics.
Well, I ran to the bank a while ago, wondering why my card was declined on a certain transaction. Lo and behold, I have a 300 euro spending limit, and I just paid my rent that morning. No wonder! haha! So they upped my limit and are sending me a new card. The woman I talked to was EXTREMELY nice, and I had a great convo with her. She'd been to New York, so we talked about that, and honestly it was just a matter of filling out paper work. Whatever. It's France, you have that. But here's the kicker: 2-3 weeks on the new card. Ok fine. She said my card I have now should still work, great, and when I get my new one, that'll be my main card. Cool. So I go to reserve my tickets and guess what...card was declined. Yeah. So now if I do this I'm waiting til last minute. I'm not too worried about the concert selling out, but I am worried about getting a room in the hostel. But I reserved last minute before so (crosses fingers).
Honestly though besides that, not much to report. It's been spring break here, and I just spent it chilling out. I tried to get a jumpstart on a German paper, but that didn't work. I've done some reading on the topic though, which has interested me. It's over the current Chancellor (Kanzler) Angela Merkel. She interests me. I picked the topic, simply because of my feminist streak, but the more I read the more intrigued I am. There are some aspects to how she handles her presidency that I really like. She seems very no nonsense, which is good, and she doesn't toot her horn about being a woman, and East German, she just does her thing and moves on. I definitely like that about her. I don't know enough about her to have an opinion on her as a politician (though I should...having taking contemporary German culture last year), but I do like her attitude about things. Oh and the woman HAS to be damn smart. She was a physicist before she was a politician. That much, I definitely respect about her!
Other than that, nothing else to report. It's been nice being able to just sleep and chill and relax this week. I think that's why i didn't do the jumpstart on the paper. As good as it is to be efficient, you need a break too. And I'm using my break to chill. Monday though, I better be back on all that...I gotta do 10 pages, and a presentation. Haha! Good luck to me!
<3
Now, I've tried talking to some friends, getting different perspectives on it, because they know what happened, and they're all pretty level headed about these kinds of things. I trust their judgement for sure, and while they all had very good points, they were all different. Well, doesn't make it easier for me now, does it? XD But I give them all props for being logical and reasonable. Considering I tend NOT to be very reasonable...yeah. I think I'm getting better about it, but I tend to be impulsive, and not think long term. But this time I did, and I figure as long as I'm smart with my money between now and when I start booking everything back home, I SHOULD be ok. Really, I just have to watch how much eating out I do. Simple, eh? At least I HOPE. I get pretty lazy sometimes XD
Anyway, I digress (I'm good at that). After looking at my finances, I decided what the hell, I'm going. I was debating on Zurich, or Vienna, especially as I have a very good friend in Vienna, somehow the Eurolines tickets went from 39 euros to 95 euros. WHAT!? And I know a train ticket would cost even more, and I don't feel like going through customs at an airport, and not to mention it would cost as much as the other 2 alternatives. If I pay that much to go somewhere, I may as well stay there for a few days, ya know? I could justify 95 euros to Vienna, and stay a week with my friend there. But anyway, I digress AGAIN! (Told you I was good). Melinda said Zurich is expensive, in general, so I cut it out, and then the whole deal with getting to Vienna being expensive. So the 2 closest shows then to Stras were Mannheim and Stuttgart.
Now, one of my good friends at home is from Mannheim. He came Stateside when he was young, but his family is still there. So he's told me a bit about the town. And then Stuttgart, I have friends who've studied there, and I've been there, so I know a hostel I like, I know the city well enough I could get where i need to go, and voila. Train tickets were the same prices, concert tickets were the same prices, but I decided Stuttgart again, for the sake of logistics.
Well, I ran to the bank a while ago, wondering why my card was declined on a certain transaction. Lo and behold, I have a 300 euro spending limit, and I just paid my rent that morning. No wonder! haha! So they upped my limit and are sending me a new card. The woman I talked to was EXTREMELY nice, and I had a great convo with her. She'd been to New York, so we talked about that, and honestly it was just a matter of filling out paper work. Whatever. It's France, you have that. But here's the kicker: 2-3 weeks on the new card. Ok fine. She said my card I have now should still work, great, and when I get my new one, that'll be my main card. Cool. So I go to reserve my tickets and guess what...card was declined. Yeah. So now if I do this I'm waiting til last minute. I'm not too worried about the concert selling out, but I am worried about getting a room in the hostel. But I reserved last minute before so (crosses fingers).
Honestly though besides that, not much to report. It's been spring break here, and I just spent it chilling out. I tried to get a jumpstart on a German paper, but that didn't work. I've done some reading on the topic though, which has interested me. It's over the current Chancellor (Kanzler) Angela Merkel. She interests me. I picked the topic, simply because of my feminist streak, but the more I read the more intrigued I am. There are some aspects to how she handles her presidency that I really like. She seems very no nonsense, which is good, and she doesn't toot her horn about being a woman, and East German, she just does her thing and moves on. I definitely like that about her. I don't know enough about her to have an opinion on her as a politician (though I should...having taking contemporary German culture last year), but I do like her attitude about things. Oh and the woman HAS to be damn smart. She was a physicist before she was a politician. That much, I definitely respect about her!
Other than that, nothing else to report. It's been nice being able to just sleep and chill and relax this week. I think that's why i didn't do the jumpstart on the paper. As good as it is to be efficient, you need a break too. And I'm using my break to chill. Monday though, I better be back on all that...I gotta do 10 pages, and a presentation. Haha! Good luck to me!
<3
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
New layout
I figured I should change the look, to match the influence.
It's a book by Hansi (Jean Jacques Waltz), an Alsatian author born in Colmar in 1873, just after Alsace was taken back by the Weimar Republic. He was a French patriot, from what I understand, and loved Alsace dearly. All of his work portrays typical Alsatian life, at that time, and he's still a very well known artist to this day (you can't hit a tourist place here, without finding SOMETHING Hansi inspired or related).
So last year, for school, I did a powerpoint about Alsace, since I was planning on living here for a year. Tom was awesome and let me ask him questions about the area, and he was the one who told me about Hansi. So naturally I go to do some digging about Hansi and lo and behold, I found this bookcover.
Now keep in mind, my name had some very ironic ties to the Count of Monte Cristo, which I also found out from Tom. Chateau d'If? "If" is a type of tree. A Yew tree (un arbre d'If) to be exact. Well, York, if you take it out of the Latin origins (traces back to the city name Eboracum. In Gaelic it's a little different spelling, and I believe German it goes back to Euric, but is an entirely different meaning...but I digress), it means "Yew tree." Well with my 'escape' from my father over the last year, it was all too ironic when I found that out. Well, now find a book named Le Voyage D'Erika en Alsace Francaise, about 6 months before I was set to leave for "Alsace Francaise" that just makes the irony even better. Even my French prof said, "I don't necessarily believe in signs, but if there was ever something to make me believe in them, it would be that!"
So now, here we are, Erika REALLY writing about her voyage in Alsace. I have to admit, I really want to buy that book. There's a Hansi museum in Colmar I want to see, and if things permit it so, I will definitely head that way, one of these days, before I leave. And if I can get my hands on that book....WIN!!!!!!!!!!
But I had better go. I have things to do this afternoon, I had planned on doing before I got woke up at 4 am, thinking I was getting sick again. Time is not on my side at the moment. :-P
It's a book by Hansi (Jean Jacques Waltz), an Alsatian author born in Colmar in 1873, just after Alsace was taken back by the Weimar Republic. He was a French patriot, from what I understand, and loved Alsace dearly. All of his work portrays typical Alsatian life, at that time, and he's still a very well known artist to this day (you can't hit a tourist place here, without finding SOMETHING Hansi inspired or related).
So last year, for school, I did a powerpoint about Alsace, since I was planning on living here for a year. Tom was awesome and let me ask him questions about the area, and he was the one who told me about Hansi. So naturally I go to do some digging about Hansi and lo and behold, I found this bookcover.
Now keep in mind, my name had some very ironic ties to the Count of Monte Cristo, which I also found out from Tom. Chateau d'If? "If" is a type of tree. A Yew tree (un arbre d'If) to be exact. Well, York, if you take it out of the Latin origins (traces back to the city name Eboracum. In Gaelic it's a little different spelling, and I believe German it goes back to Euric, but is an entirely different meaning...but I digress), it means "Yew tree." Well with my 'escape' from my father over the last year, it was all too ironic when I found that out. Well, now find a book named Le Voyage D'Erika en Alsace Francaise, about 6 months before I was set to leave for "Alsace Francaise" that just makes the irony even better. Even my French prof said, "I don't necessarily believe in signs, but if there was ever something to make me believe in them, it would be that!"
So now, here we are, Erika REALLY writing about her voyage in Alsace. I have to admit, I really want to buy that book. There's a Hansi museum in Colmar I want to see, and if things permit it so, I will definitely head that way, one of these days, before I leave. And if I can get my hands on that book....WIN!!!!!!!!!!
But I had better go. I have things to do this afternoon, I had planned on doing before I got woke up at 4 am, thinking I was getting sick again. Time is not on my side at the moment. :-P
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Beware, I'm doing a word dump!
Wow, so I went from updating about every week, to every 2 weeks, to every month. It has just been insane, to be honest. So much has happened, everything is still trying to sink in. Good or bad it's been nuts.
I have to say the last...month? Has been RIDICULOUSLY emotional. Not really homesick or anything, I just...well I mean I guess when I say emotional I don't just mean upset, I mean happy or amused as well. There's the being hit on by a random drunk German guy in the middle of the night, half in English and half in German (Ich bin German, WHAT? XD). Oh and laughing my ass off in the middle of The King's Speech (Le Discours du Roi) when Colin Firth starts swearing like I do when I play XBox, and then squealing over seeing corgis in the movie (I MISS MY PENNY!!!!!), and it's totally fun being the American in my Civil War class.
There's been a lot of stress too. Cramming and reading a 250 page book in about 4 days, yeah that sucked, and it was during Semaine Européenne. Hello all nighters! I've been so sleep deprived the last 2 weeks, it's unreal. But the book I had to read was actually quite interesting. I never would've read it on my own, that's for sure, so in the end I'm actually kind of glad I had to read it for class. I learned a lot.
And Semaine Européenne was insanely cool. Once again, a ton of stress, but I learned so much. My group's debate was over the PIIGS nations (Portugal, Italy, Ireland, Greece, and Spain), except we omitted Ireland, as the subject dealt with only the Mediterranean nations. And of course, the inevitable question of Turkey came up, which led to Cyprus, and Malta, and then led to North Africa (guess there's 2 cities in Morocco that are actually Spanish, never knew that). And the Turkey thing became really interesting as it's not talked about nearly as much in the US as it is here. I mean, if I'm remembering correctly, Turkey is an Ally, and of course the EU is (I don't know the 'official' position on the Eastern Euro countries, but if they're part of the EU I can't see why America would take issue with them anymore), so I can't see why America would be appauled by the EU accepting Turkey, when/if it happens (yes I realize the controversies in Turkey, as I've read into them a bit, but regardless of that for the moment). I think that was the most interesting part to me, as it's something I've learned a lot about since living in the EU. Not really saying I have an opinion one way or the other, but exploring both sides of the argument is intriguing.
Then there's the Brandon thing. Oh gee that totally made it sound like there's not much value to the situation. But, in all seriousness, the way our relationship has been going has been, well...I can't complain. It's been getting better as each month goes by. Odd how distance does that. We've officially decided when I get home, we're getting married. it should be interesting, planning a wedding from over the Atlantic. But it won't be anything big either. I think really, we just want to go to the courthouse, make it official, then have a "reception" maybe a week or so later, invite family, and friends, and whatnot. Definitely not anything really fancy or huge. I don't even think I'll wear a white dress. Haha! But, formalities really don't become us. We've always been the weird, off the wall couple. And frankly, before, when we were trying to plan a wedding (about 2 years ago), I dunno...the idea of a traditional wedding I think was us trying to fit into an idea that just wasn't OUR idea. Our idea is a lot different; always has been. I guess that's why we ended up together. We're both a set of misfit people in this world, trying to figure out our ways, and where we need to go and what we need to do. Then somewhere along the line, we found each other. Oh hey! Wow! We're just alike! Let's do this thing together. I feel like our relationship is starting to come full circle, after everything that we've been through in the last year and a half. Not to mention, personally, we're both coming full circle. Or at least most of it. There'll always be something new to tackle, but I guess in the last year, we've learned a lot about who we are as individuals, and onward we go I guess.
The toughest part is going back and forth between feeling like I have a handle on things, and then feeling like I'm left totally alone. And honestly it sucks. Sometimes I don't mind how things are going at all, for better or worse, then something happens to set me off and make me feel worthless and useless and unloved. And it's REALLY annoying. A part of me is wanting to find a way to stand on my own 2 feet, and be as independent as possible, clear my name, and move on in life. Then a part of me gets angry and screams and cries, because I feel like there's no one there to just take care of me when I need it. Sometimes I want to be a spoiled, pampered brat, and sometimes I just want to tell everyone to fuck off and leave me alone. Let me do this on my own. Sometimes, I feel like an overgrown 4 year old. You know...when they first start figuring out that they can try and tie their own shoes, or reach the cup on the counter, or can climb to the top of a jungle gym. But then as soon as their shoe laces are in a knot, or the cup gets knocked over and makes a mess, or they're too afraid to climb down, they start crying and run to mommy for help. And i guess that's where my frustration kicks in. Sometimes I feel like there's no one I can run to for help. I know, I'd say about 85% of the time, that's ok. I gotta learn how to do this on my own anyway, so what the hell. But that last 15% of the time, I wish I could just call someone and cry and bitch and yell at the to take care of it for me, and they will, and I don't need to worry about it anymore.And my shitty parental situation doesn't help matters. I wish I could just call mom and dad and ask for help, and have someone help me through this, but I can't. I don't feel like I have anyone in my corner, cheering me on and helping take care of me. But like I said, sometimes it doesn't bother me. Sometimes it does. Sometimes I wish I had that safety net, but then sometimes I know not having that safety net is just going to make me learn how to walk that tight rope all the faster, even if I pee my pants in the process out of fear. Yeah yeah yeah harsh image. Whatever. If you know me, by now you know I talk like that from time to time.
There've been 2 things I tend to think of when I'm thinking of all this going on business. Before I left the US, Irene, the lady who runs the office of the Red Cross I volunteer at, and I were talking about this year. Keep in mind, she's from Italy, and moved Stateside. She pointed out to me, that doing something like this 'alone' could be good, because it'd be a chance to live and learn. I had honestly never thought of it like that before. And, sometimes when I do get upset about things, I remember her telling me that. And, she would know. I know she's done similar things in her life, and she's been there done that. So it's not just some well wish, it's her experience talking.
The other is a phrase my friend Tom told me a few weeks ago when we went out one night. "Avec des si, on mettrait Paris en bouteille" which basically translates as "With all the whatifs in the world, you could put Paris in a bottle." He kept saying it was a really cynical phrase, and it actually is...BUT...it's also very, very true. It took me a while to figure out what the hell the saying meant, but once I started getting a grasp on it, it did give me a new perspective. If you keep on saying what if, or woulda shoudla coulda but didn't, or whatever, the worse and worse it gets. Sure, the what if scenarios MAY be true, and yes hindsight is always 20/20, but the more you dwell on them, the worse it makes things. And seriously, putting Paris in a bottle would be pretty screwed up. But whatifs just lead to reducing and messing with what's already there, til you have practically nothing left.
And I guess that's the point I took away from that phrase. I know, I'm horrible about actually following that. I tend to dwell on things, it's always been a bad habit. My mom used to get on me for it all the time. What's that tell you? And, some friends recently have helped me gain more perspective on things that have been happening. I guess, once I sat there and bitched and moaned about it, things got clearer now. It just all makes so much more sense. For better or for worse. Maybe my head was in my ass about a lot of things...but even if it was, I guess the point now is I realized that, and now it's time to fix the problem. The distance has been good for that. Though I have no idea how things'll resolve, I guess this isn't the time to be worried about that either. I have 3 papers to write in 3 weeks, 2 French, one German, a boatload of research to do on them, and frankly that's a lot more important at the moment. I'll figure out what to do at home when I get home.
I have to say the last...month? Has been RIDICULOUSLY emotional. Not really homesick or anything, I just...well I mean I guess when I say emotional I don't just mean upset, I mean happy or amused as well. There's the being hit on by a random drunk German guy in the middle of the night, half in English and half in German (Ich bin German, WHAT? XD). Oh and laughing my ass off in the middle of The King's Speech (Le Discours du Roi) when Colin Firth starts swearing like I do when I play XBox, and then squealing over seeing corgis in the movie (I MISS MY PENNY!!!!!), and it's totally fun being the American in my Civil War class.
There's been a lot of stress too. Cramming and reading a 250 page book in about 4 days, yeah that sucked, and it was during Semaine Européenne. Hello all nighters! I've been so sleep deprived the last 2 weeks, it's unreal. But the book I had to read was actually quite interesting. I never would've read it on my own, that's for sure, so in the end I'm actually kind of glad I had to read it for class. I learned a lot.
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| Outside le Conseil de l"Europe |
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| Main Parliamentary room |
Just a few songs that I feel like have been summing up how I feel about all of this lately. And shush, I have a thing for Adam Lambert now. Deal with it. :-P ;-)
The toughest part is going back and forth between feeling like I have a handle on things, and then feeling like I'm left totally alone. And honestly it sucks. Sometimes I don't mind how things are going at all, for better or worse, then something happens to set me off and make me feel worthless and useless and unloved. And it's REALLY annoying. A part of me is wanting to find a way to stand on my own 2 feet, and be as independent as possible, clear my name, and move on in life. Then a part of me gets angry and screams and cries, because I feel like there's no one there to just take care of me when I need it. Sometimes I want to be a spoiled, pampered brat, and sometimes I just want to tell everyone to fuck off and leave me alone. Let me do this on my own. Sometimes, I feel like an overgrown 4 year old. You know...when they first start figuring out that they can try and tie their own shoes, or reach the cup on the counter, or can climb to the top of a jungle gym. But then as soon as their shoe laces are in a knot, or the cup gets knocked over and makes a mess, or they're too afraid to climb down, they start crying and run to mommy for help. And i guess that's where my frustration kicks in. Sometimes I feel like there's no one I can run to for help. I know, I'd say about 85% of the time, that's ok. I gotta learn how to do this on my own anyway, so what the hell. But that last 15% of the time, I wish I could just call someone and cry and bitch and yell at the to take care of it for me, and they will, and I don't need to worry about it anymore.And my shitty parental situation doesn't help matters. I wish I could just call mom and dad and ask for help, and have someone help me through this, but I can't. I don't feel like I have anyone in my corner, cheering me on and helping take care of me. But like I said, sometimes it doesn't bother me. Sometimes it does. Sometimes I wish I had that safety net, but then sometimes I know not having that safety net is just going to make me learn how to walk that tight rope all the faster, even if I pee my pants in the process out of fear. Yeah yeah yeah harsh image. Whatever. If you know me, by now you know I talk like that from time to time.
There've been 2 things I tend to think of when I'm thinking of all this going on business. Before I left the US, Irene, the lady who runs the office of the Red Cross I volunteer at, and I were talking about this year. Keep in mind, she's from Italy, and moved Stateside. She pointed out to me, that doing something like this 'alone' could be good, because it'd be a chance to live and learn. I had honestly never thought of it like that before. And, sometimes when I do get upset about things, I remember her telling me that. And, she would know. I know she's done similar things in her life, and she's been there done that. So it's not just some well wish, it's her experience talking.
And I guess that's the point I took away from that phrase. I know, I'm horrible about actually following that. I tend to dwell on things, it's always been a bad habit. My mom used to get on me for it all the time. What's that tell you? And, some friends recently have helped me gain more perspective on things that have been happening. I guess, once I sat there and bitched and moaned about it, things got clearer now. It just all makes so much more sense. For better or for worse. Maybe my head was in my ass about a lot of things...but even if it was, I guess the point now is I realized that, and now it's time to fix the problem. The distance has been good for that. Though I have no idea how things'll resolve, I guess this isn't the time to be worried about that either. I have 3 papers to write in 3 weeks, 2 French, one German, a boatload of research to do on them, and frankly that's a lot more important at the moment. I'll figure out what to do at home when I get home.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Break
Well instead of putting away my groceries, I'm on here. Go figure eh? But a month is a bit too long without an update. I've been writing in my journals mostly, so I guess I haven't felt too compelled to write in here. But without any further ado, I'll begin. ;)
Break wasn't too bad. Wasn't great, but I can't overall complain. I got screwed over by someone I thought I could trust, but--I hate saying this--I'm pretty used to it. I guess after you save someone's life, all they care about is the ways they can leech off of you and siphon your life away, bitch about you not being perfect (though I never claimed to be), twist your words, and then have the audacity to tell me I have no idea what hard is. I can list umpteen other inaccuracies that were hurled at me, but whatever. That's just how people are. They lie to you about caring about you, and expect you to do everything for them, but when you need them to be there for you, all of a sudden they bow out. You know, you'd think I'd be used to people mistreating me and taking advantage of me, but I guess not. Some parts of it still really hurt. But at the same time, being so physically far away from it makes it better.
So I was struggling through break in some ways. Things are better now, and to quote Dr. Zhivago, I'm cutting out the tumors of injustice so to speak, and moving on. I'm not going to let shit hold me down anymore, and frankly I think it's one of those life lessons I needed to learn, period. So maybe it'll follow me home and I'll learn not to worry so much.
Amidst the struggles though I learned a lot about who my friends were and weren't. People stepped up to the plate and were awesome and helped me in whatever way they could manage. Friends I fell out of touch with all of a sudden were there helping me, and Brandon, bless his heart, has listened to me cry and bitch on skype more than you can know over the last month. And he's always taken it in stride, and tried to help me however he can. I guess being with someone almost 5 and a half years, you know what to do when they come to you crying.
I was even telling Brandon last night, after the "break up" we went through (if you don't know about it, let's just say he and I broke up for about 3 weeks, then went into an open relationship, and then about 9 months ago, we decided to get back together), one thing I complained about was feeling like he would never meet me half way. When I needed someone, I never felt like I could rely on him, or he'd always shrink from the situation. At the time, he did, but over the last almost 2 years now, he's been there for me. When I needed someone to cry to, somewhere to stay, something to eat, a place to do my laundry, he was there. At first it was as friends, then it became what it had been before. For some reason, I just couldn't cut him out of my life. And I still can't.
There's a quote from Jane Eyre I've always particularly liked, because I felt it described me and Brandon. Mr. Rochester says it, and I've always enjoyed it, because I like his analogy.
I've finally found out what it feels like to have half of who you are so far away. Yet somehow, you find a way to make it day to day 'til you get back to them. I've been learning what it is to really love someone, and what it means to really go to the ends of the earth for that love. I'd say I know what it means to resist temptation for that love, but frankly all the other options I've had since getting here, well, aren't that impressive. And the one that was, wasn't very realistic. So yep, not like I've really been tempted. But, the idea of going and finding someone else doesn't sound very appealing.
I remember when I told Chris about this trip, he just stopped, looked at me, and said "Do you think Brandon can make it without you for 9 months?" That was no exaggeration when he said it, on my behalf or Brandon's. In some ways, I don't think June can get here fast enough for either of us.
But enough of the sentiments for now. ;) On the note of the temptation, I had yet ANOTHER amazing experience with one of France's finest gentlemen. I hope that the sarcasm is noted. Basically, he was an idiot who wouldn't take no for an answer, I stood him up on a "date" and I spent about 2 days bitching at him via text that I wasn't interested, he annoyed me, and to leave me alone. Did he get the clue? Eventually, and thank GOD he's left me alone. And the moron from OFII has tried again too. Like really? I discovered my phone has a "liste de rejet" (rejection list) and oh Lord was I happy to see that!
"Je veux sortir avec toi" is the most HATED phrase in the French language to me, at this moment.
Seriously, my dumb luck of getting hit on by idiots has followed me to France. UGH! No I will not leave my boyfriend I've been with for 5 years for some fling in another country. No I don't believe in "Oh if it doesn't happen in the same country it's not cheating" or any of that other crap. I'm with him, and I promised to wait for him, and I plan on keeping my promises. Is that such a hard concept to grasp in this day and age? Seriously. Fidelity isn't as rare as people like to think.
I managed to snag a small job here too. A friend worked with a gentleman who wanted a native English speaker to tutor his son. She put me in touch with him, and I got the job. Talk about perfect timing, it was just enough extra cash to go enjoy the Christmas markets, and then have money for food til I got school money.
But, really, it's above and beyond even that. Sure the money is nice, and a few extra euros helps out. But, the family I'm working with, goodness...they're some of the nicest most wonderful people I've ever met. I walked into their home, and without even knowing me, everyone was happy to see me (there's 4 kids total, two teenaged daughters, the boy I work with who's 5, and their little 2 year old), and was so nice to me, and so welcoming. They treated me like gold. They even invited me to stay for lunch, and I stayed well into the evening even. And, I was amazed at how great they were to me. The older girls have definitely become fast friends of mine, and the two young ones are adorable. The littlest one has already started calling me Tata Erika (Auntie Erika), and I think that's adorable. It's just incredible to me to be around people like them. I guess after a life of dysfunction, seeing them is a breath of fresh air. And the fact they were so accepting and welcoming to me...I just...I guess I can't believe it. I'm used to there being strings attached, or someone dangling their affections in front of me like a carrot in front of a horse, and teasing me with them. These people are genuinely good. They're a family. They love each other. Being in that kind of place to me was a blessing. I haven't felt like part of a family since my mom died. Now, I've been blessed to be included in a very warm, kind, and loving one. No, I'm not saying that I'm an adopted daughter, but they've allowed me to be part of them, and it's been a truly wonderful thing to be a part of.
The holidays here were nice too. I really enjoyed myself. It wasn't much, but I had fun. After my first day of tutoring, I went out to the markets that night, got a cup of vin chaud and went ice skating. After, I got a tarte flambée baguette and then headed home. I hadn't been ice skating since 5th grade, so it took me a while to get used to it again, but as soon as I was, I took off and had a blast. And they played all the old classic Christmas songs, even Elvis and Bing Crosby songs! I felt like such a dork skating along singing to myself, but I had a good time. :D
Christmas I got up and made it to the Cathedral. I wasn't up early enough for Mass or anything, but I went and made an offering, and spent some time there. After that I went to St. Thomas, and just hung out, thinking and what not. Went home and spent the evening by myself. I watched It's A Wonderful Life, and then called home.
New Year's I got sick, so i didn't do anything, but it was fun watching the fireworks get shot off at 12. And due to the fever I was running I woke up at 5, waited around til 6, called Brandon at midnight US time, and then spent the next hour slap happy and delirious laughing at condom instructions (don't ask).
After that was finals. Ugh...I need to say no more.
After I finished finals, Sibylle and I took a day trip to Mulhouse and had a nice time. It's not much of a town, but it was nice to go somewhere new. And, it was cool seeing street signs written in Alsatian. :D We're thinking about taking a trip to Basel, Switzerland at one point too. I guess it's not too much more than what the trip to Mulhouse was, so hey! :D That was one thing I realized over break: I'm within 3 hours of Belgium, Luxembourg, and Switzerland, and Germany is what, a 15-20 minute bus ride away? Talk about mind blowing. I mean, I can do day trips to other countries. WTF. hahahaha! I mean, it's really cool, but I guess it never dawned on me til not too long ago.
And that ladies and gents brings us to today :D Just waiting around til School starts Monday. My first class of the semester is in English. WIN! It's 8-10 am, but if it's in English, I can manage. I just have to get on a sleep schedule, because I've been in the habit of taking random naps. Yeah won't be able to do that every day now. hahaha!
Anyway, I better get going. If you've stuck through this with me this long, I love you! Totally! :D
Break wasn't too bad. Wasn't great, but I can't overall complain. I got screwed over by someone I thought I could trust, but--I hate saying this--I'm pretty used to it. I guess after you save someone's life, all they care about is the ways they can leech off of you and siphon your life away, bitch about you not being perfect (though I never claimed to be), twist your words, and then have the audacity to tell me I have no idea what hard is. I can list umpteen other inaccuracies that were hurled at me, but whatever. That's just how people are. They lie to you about caring about you, and expect you to do everything for them, but when you need them to be there for you, all of a sudden they bow out. You know, you'd think I'd be used to people mistreating me and taking advantage of me, but I guess not. Some parts of it still really hurt. But at the same time, being so physically far away from it makes it better.
So I was struggling through break in some ways. Things are better now, and to quote Dr. Zhivago, I'm cutting out the tumors of injustice so to speak, and moving on. I'm not going to let shit hold me down anymore, and frankly I think it's one of those life lessons I needed to learn, period. So maybe it'll follow me home and I'll learn not to worry so much.
Amidst the struggles though I learned a lot about who my friends were and weren't. People stepped up to the plate and were awesome and helped me in whatever way they could manage. Friends I fell out of touch with all of a sudden were there helping me, and Brandon, bless his heart, has listened to me cry and bitch on skype more than you can know over the last month. And he's always taken it in stride, and tried to help me however he can. I guess being with someone almost 5 and a half years, you know what to do when they come to you crying.
I was even telling Brandon last night, after the "break up" we went through (if you don't know about it, let's just say he and I broke up for about 3 weeks, then went into an open relationship, and then about 9 months ago, we decided to get back together), one thing I complained about was feeling like he would never meet me half way. When I needed someone, I never felt like I could rely on him, or he'd always shrink from the situation. At the time, he did, but over the last almost 2 years now, he's been there for me. When I needed someone to cry to, somewhere to stay, something to eat, a place to do my laundry, he was there. At first it was as friends, then it became what it had been before. For some reason, I just couldn't cut him out of my life. And I still can't.
There's a quote from Jane Eyre I've always particularly liked, because I felt it described me and Brandon. Mr. Rochester says it, and I've always enjoyed it, because I like his analogy.
I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you--especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if that boisterous channel, and two hundred miles or so of land come broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt; and then I've a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly.
That's how I've always felt about us. We're knotted together, and there's no way the knots can be untied.
I've finally found out what it feels like to have half of who you are so far away. Yet somehow, you find a way to make it day to day 'til you get back to them. I've been learning what it is to really love someone, and what it means to really go to the ends of the earth for that love. I'd say I know what it means to resist temptation for that love, but frankly all the other options I've had since getting here, well, aren't that impressive. And the one that was, wasn't very realistic. So yep, not like I've really been tempted. But, the idea of going and finding someone else doesn't sound very appealing.
I remember when I told Chris about this trip, he just stopped, looked at me, and said "Do you think Brandon can make it without you for 9 months?" That was no exaggeration when he said it, on my behalf or Brandon's. In some ways, I don't think June can get here fast enough for either of us.
But enough of the sentiments for now. ;) On the note of the temptation, I had yet ANOTHER amazing experience with one of France's finest gentlemen. I hope that the sarcasm is noted. Basically, he was an idiot who wouldn't take no for an answer, I stood him up on a "date" and I spent about 2 days bitching at him via text that I wasn't interested, he annoyed me, and to leave me alone. Did he get the clue? Eventually, and thank GOD he's left me alone. And the moron from OFII has tried again too. Like really? I discovered my phone has a "liste de rejet" (rejection list) and oh Lord was I happy to see that!
"Je veux sortir avec toi" is the most HATED phrase in the French language to me, at this moment.
Seriously, my dumb luck of getting hit on by idiots has followed me to France. UGH! No I will not leave my boyfriend I've been with for 5 years for some fling in another country. No I don't believe in "Oh if it doesn't happen in the same country it's not cheating" or any of that other crap. I'm with him, and I promised to wait for him, and I plan on keeping my promises. Is that such a hard concept to grasp in this day and age? Seriously. Fidelity isn't as rare as people like to think.
I managed to snag a small job here too. A friend worked with a gentleman who wanted a native English speaker to tutor his son. She put me in touch with him, and I got the job. Talk about perfect timing, it was just enough extra cash to go enjoy the Christmas markets, and then have money for food til I got school money.
But, really, it's above and beyond even that. Sure the money is nice, and a few extra euros helps out. But, the family I'm working with, goodness...they're some of the nicest most wonderful people I've ever met. I walked into their home, and without even knowing me, everyone was happy to see me (there's 4 kids total, two teenaged daughters, the boy I work with who's 5, and their little 2 year old), and was so nice to me, and so welcoming. They treated me like gold. They even invited me to stay for lunch, and I stayed well into the evening even. And, I was amazed at how great they were to me. The older girls have definitely become fast friends of mine, and the two young ones are adorable. The littlest one has already started calling me Tata Erika (Auntie Erika), and I think that's adorable. It's just incredible to me to be around people like them. I guess after a life of dysfunction, seeing them is a breath of fresh air. And the fact they were so accepting and welcoming to me...I just...I guess I can't believe it. I'm used to there being strings attached, or someone dangling their affections in front of me like a carrot in front of a horse, and teasing me with them. These people are genuinely good. They're a family. They love each other. Being in that kind of place to me was a blessing. I haven't felt like part of a family since my mom died. Now, I've been blessed to be included in a very warm, kind, and loving one. No, I'm not saying that I'm an adopted daughter, but they've allowed me to be part of them, and it's been a truly wonderful thing to be a part of.
The holidays here were nice too. I really enjoyed myself. It wasn't much, but I had fun. After my first day of tutoring, I went out to the markets that night, got a cup of vin chaud and went ice skating. After, I got a tarte flambée baguette and then headed home. I hadn't been ice skating since 5th grade, so it took me a while to get used to it again, but as soon as I was, I took off and had a blast. And they played all the old classic Christmas songs, even Elvis and Bing Crosby songs! I felt like such a dork skating along singing to myself, but I had a good time. :D
Christmas I got up and made it to the Cathedral. I wasn't up early enough for Mass or anything, but I went and made an offering, and spent some time there. After that I went to St. Thomas, and just hung out, thinking and what not. Went home and spent the evening by myself. I watched It's A Wonderful Life, and then called home.
New Year's I got sick, so i didn't do anything, but it was fun watching the fireworks get shot off at 12. And due to the fever I was running I woke up at 5, waited around til 6, called Brandon at midnight US time, and then spent the next hour slap happy and delirious laughing at condom instructions (don't ask).
After that was finals. Ugh...I need to say no more.
After I finished finals, Sibylle and I took a day trip to Mulhouse and had a nice time. It's not much of a town, but it was nice to go somewhere new. And, it was cool seeing street signs written in Alsatian. :D We're thinking about taking a trip to Basel, Switzerland at one point too. I guess it's not too much more than what the trip to Mulhouse was, so hey! :D That was one thing I realized over break: I'm within 3 hours of Belgium, Luxembourg, and Switzerland, and Germany is what, a 15-20 minute bus ride away? Talk about mind blowing. I mean, I can do day trips to other countries. WTF. hahahaha! I mean, it's really cool, but I guess it never dawned on me til not too long ago.
And that ladies and gents brings us to today :D Just waiting around til School starts Monday. My first class of the semester is in English. WIN! It's 8-10 am, but if it's in English, I can manage. I just have to get on a sleep schedule, because I've been in the habit of taking random naps. Yeah won't be able to do that every day now. hahaha!
Anyway, I better get going. If you've stuck through this with me this long, I love you! Totally! :D
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